He Calls Me Wifey

encourage

2012-02-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

i realize that i've been quite silent here lately. yes, i've shared my outfits, my favorite films and music, but i've been silent.
i have so much to say that saying it in little blurbs here and there seems ridiculous.
i suppose what i can say now, as my eyes are drooping and my clean sheets are calling my name is that i've been going through quite a journey lately. i'm making discoveries left and right. i'm taking chances. i'm giving honesty a bigger chance and learning to face my greatest fears head on with conviction and gumption.

to put it lightly, i've been doing a lot of soul searching.
in the past couple of weeks i've come across these two posts that have really touched my heart and made me say out loud, "AMEN SISTER."

read Rachel's open door policy and brenda's fight or flight.

these women took the words right from my lips.
thank you for the encouragement, ladies.

what i wore // today

2012-02-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

yet again i feel i am channeling angela chase. love that girl. i just can't get her outta me.

who says i want to?

you guys gotta check out this bob dylan cover.

yes, i know, i know, i know! it's miley cyrus, but DANG it's good.

it's hard for me to appreciate bob dylan covers because i most always love the original so much that the cover can't compare in my eyes... but there are a few bd covers that i really dig and this is one of them.

ON REPEAT.

You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go by Miley Cyrus on Grooveshark

tunes tuesday // the postal service

2012-02-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

this is one of my favorite albums ever.

enough said.

enjoy this gem.

the postal service // give up by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

{original photo source}

what i wore >> sunday

2012-02-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

When I saw Laura's post over at Ascot Friday featuring her Jeffrey Campbell ankle boots, I knew I had to have them. It was perfect timing that my birthday was coming up, so I had a reason to justify the purchase. I absolutely love them. I've worn them just about every day since I got them. They are still available, so go get 'em!!

ankle boots // sweater // dress

have a happy monday!

films friday // john hughes and his muse

2012-02-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

If You Leave by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark on Grooveshark

Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds on Grooveshark

If You Were Here by Thompson Twins on Grooveshark

Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding on Grooveshark

I grew up with these films. They are like extensions of myself. Let's relive the memories, people!!
{original photos can be found here}

featured at the flowerchild dwelling

2012-02-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

Good morning!

I have exciting news. Kelly Ann over at The Flowerchild Dwelling asked me to be a guest blogger and my post is up today! I was so thrilled when Kelly Ann asked me to participate since she is one of my favorite bloggers. Her blog is so beautiful, inspiring and creative, just like Kelly Ann herself. Some of the other guest posts are by a few of my other favorite bloggers as well, so you should definitely take a look see.

If you haven't checked out her blog, you should do so now and follow. I promise you won't regret it. And please take a peek at my post here. I would love the support!

And if you're visiting my blog for the first time, thanks for stopping by!
Have a lovely Thursday.
xoxo,
Andrea

yesterday

2012-02-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

was fantastic.
thank you all for the beautiful birthday wishes. i felt so loved!

David and I went to Open Sesame on 2nd St. in Long Beach for dinner. I had never been there, but I had been wanting to for a really long time and lemme just tell ya: oh so good.

Then we took a little walk up and down the street and stopped for the most delicious ice cream ever. Oh boy, if you live in or near Long Beach you're in for a treat. Go to 2nd St. immediately and taste the glory that is Paradis. I got a scoop of the toasted hazelnut and a scoop of the marshmallow. I am a marshmallow freak. I love them. I have to be honest and say that eating that marshmallow ice cream was better than eating an actual marshmallow. I kid you not. I was telling David how I want to buy a ~~gallon~~ pint of it, bring it home and drizzle nutella and crushed graham crackers over it to make s'mores ice cream!!!!!

Yes, I needed to add those 5 exclamation points.

Go now.

today i am 28 years old.

2012-01-31T17:48:00.000-08:00

time freaking flies.

i watched Sixteen Candles in the morning.
got a manicure and pedicure.
got my eyebrows threaded (ouch!)
ate a red velvet cupcake from Bake 'n' Broil for lunch.
did some shopping.
enjoyed all of the awesome calls/texts/emails/fb comments wishing me a joyous birthday. they brightened the day!
and now the hubs and i are about to enjoy some Mediterranean cuisine.

i didn't worry or stress about anything at all. that makes this day pretty awesome.
thanks for all the wishes and love everyone. i am a lucky gal.

Happy Birthday (Album Version) by Altered Images on Grooveshark

birthday kisses from me to you

what i wore >> sunday

2012-01-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

I am pretty much in love with this outfit. The platforms have become my go-to heels when all else fails. Every single time I wear them I get compliments. The only person who doesn't like them is David. He says the noise they make when I walk bothers him (I think it's that they make me as tall as he is, ha!). The light blazer is so ridiculously comfy, as well as the tank, and that necklace is so earthy with a perfect balance of heavy and light. The wayfarers are an early birthday gift from hubs (thank you, love!)

wayfarers // blazer // necklace

song of the day

Just Like Honey by The Jesus And Mary Chain on Grooveshark

enjoy your monday!!

Dub Dub Weigh In

2012-01-29T16:31:00.000-08:00

{Week Eleven}

- 3 lbs

Change since week one: - 8.2 lbs

Change since 2006 38.2 lbs

How in the world did I lose THREE POUNDS in one week?!? I can't believe it, but I am STOKED.

I worked hard this week, but I definitely didn't expect to lose 3 pounds.

This week is going to be really challenging because it's my birthday week...

Yesterday Dave and I had an all day outing that included gelato, a cupcake and a carb filled dinner.

This Tuesday is my actual birthday so I will be celebrating with a Red Velvet Cupcake from Bake 'n' Broil... but I'm pretty sure I used up all of my extra 49 points for the week, so I'm expecting this week to be a challenge not to exceed my daily points target.

Wish me luck everyone, I don't wanna gain back any of those three pounds!

films friday // atonement

2012-01-27T14:01:00.000-08:00

poignant

tragic

beautiful

I have yet to read the book, it's on my list, but this film has stuck with me for a long time. I'm sure it will stick with you as well.

{original photo source one & two}

the "shop my closet" party

2012-01-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I hosted a "Shop My Closet" party. I got the idea from a friend on Intagram who commented on a photo of my recently purged closet. I had planned on selling my clothes at Buffalo or Crossroads, but once I had the idea of a party where my friends could come shop my closet I began asking around to get an idea of how many people would actually be interested. To my surprise, so many friends said they would definitely love to participate, so it was a go.

The plan was to have it at my mom's house, since my condo is way too small for a big party. She ended up going all out and making tons of hors d'oeuvres and donating bottles of wine. All I did was bring the cheese, set up shop (many, many thanks to Kacie of Two Downings A Day for all of the hours of work you put into helping me prep!) and showed up.

I had very low expectations for the party. I thought I'd be lucky if 10 friends showed up and if I made a 50 bucks, but I was wrong! The party way exceeded my expectations as I hope it did everyone else's. It was also so wonderful to chat and hang out with Rachel of No. 17 Cherry Tree Lane (I love that woman!) and the beautiful Hayley of The Weekend File. I had such a fabulous time catching up with old friends, and hanging out afterwards and talking for hours with some awesome ladies. I am definitely going to do this again in the future. It was a fantastic idea.

I asked the talented Debbie Huber of Snapshots & Sunshine to photograph the party and I think she did an excellent job. Check out the photos!

And let me know if you would ever be interested in coming to my next party :)

tunes tuesday // rilo kiley

2012-01-24T09:03:00.000-08:00

the breakup band.

every heartache, every pissy outlook on another failed and stupid relationship was accompanied by a Rilo Kiley cd in my stereo.

enjoy the memories!

rilo kiley by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

{original photo source}

what i wore // sunday

2012-01-23T14:15:00.000-08:00

This scarf is the softest and most comfortable piece of fabric ever wrapped around this neck. Not only do I love the colors, but I love that it's the American flag (and David went nuts over it, too). I want to wear it with everything.

Unfortunately it is no longer available for purchase online, but if I understand correctly, Free People has re-issued this item on more than one occasion due to it's popularity. It came in this color as well as the classic flag red, white and blue. Hopefully Free People will re-issue this item soon. Keep checking their website to find out!

How can you not get into the Patriotic spirit when you hear this version of this song?

God Bless America by Ray Charles on Grooveshark

What's your favorite accessory these days?

Dub Dub Weigh In

2012-01-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

{Week Ten}

- 0 lb

Change since week one: - 5.2 lbs

Change since 2006: - 35.2 lbs

I stayed the same these last two weeks, which is way better than gaining. Hopefully this week I'll lose.

films friday // there will be blood

2012-01-20T14:40:00.000-08:00

The other night David suggested that we watch There Will Be Blood. He hadn't seen it since it was still in the theaters and I hadn't watched it in quite a while either, so I said, "Why not?"

I forgot just how much I love this film. It's no feel-good flick, but it really makes you think about human nature and pride and greed and power and betrayal. Many moments make me laugh out loud at the brutal honesty of it.

Daniel Day-Lewis is one of my top three favorite actors. I really feel like this character is one of my favorites of his. It's the little subtleties he brings to Daniel Plainview that make him come alive. And there's much more to it than the "I drink your milkshake" scene (it kind of bothered me how much crap was on the internet about that scene. it really turned it into something I don't think it wasn't meant to be, even though it is pretty funny).

Also, the score is incredible. It's unconventional, it's eerie, it's strange and it's pretty epic.
Jonny Greenwood, of one of my favorite bands, Radiohead, spent only 3 weeks creating it and I can't imagine it being any more perfect for this film. When interviewed by Entertainment Weekly regarding his contribution he said,

"I think it was about not necessarily just making period music, which very traditionally you would do. But because they were traditional orchestral sounds, I suppose that's what we hoped was a little unsettling, even though you know all the sounds you're hearing are coming from very old technology. You can just do things with the classical orchestra that do unsettle you, that are sort of slightly wrong, that have some kind of undercurrent that's slightly sinister."

I definitely recommend you see this film if you haven't already. As a warning, there is some violence here and there.

p.s. I haven't read the book "Oil!" by Upton Sinclair which this film was based, but I really want to. Have any of you?

{original photo sources}

insta friday

2012-01-20T10:21:00.000-08:00

Day 14

Day 15 (a small fraction of my film collection)

Day 16

Day 17 (in Lake Lucern, Switzerland last July)

inspiration while i write a play about my brother

"The Queen"

Day 18

me and my mama

Day 19 (from Babycakes cookbook)

2012-01-19T13:48:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot that it's my favorite poet's birthday today!
Happy 203rd Birthday, my love. You don't look a day over 40!

The Raven (James Earl Jones On The Simpsons) by The Simpsons on Grooveshark

{original image source}

what i wore >> wednesday

2012-01-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

I have to say I am really in love with this outfit. There's something about this grunge-meets-Joni-Mitchell-circa-1968 look that I'm really into these days. I'm finding myself going through a period of evolution with my style, which is partly why I'm selling a large amount of my clothing this coming Saturday. Though I still love the pieces that I'm giving up, I think I need to just move on. Everyone should refresh their wardrobe every now and then, if it's affordable. Have you ever gotten in that funk where you just need to change your look?

Unfortunately all of the items I'm wearing are out of stock, but you can still purchase the boots at the AllSaints site if you love them as much as I do. I honestly don't purchase shoes all that much, so splurging on a good pair that will last a long time is pretty reasonable for me.

Damisi Boot // AllSaints

How has your style changed lately?

A Case of You by Joni Mitchell on Grooveshark

tunes tuesday // bob dylan

2012-01-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

my favorite <3

{photo by Richard Avedon}

what i wore >> sunday

2012-01-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

this outfit seriously channels my inner Angela Chase. though "Angel-ee-ca" preferred flannels to leather jackets and Doc Marten's to knee-length black leather boots, she definitely wore the occasional baby doll dress, albeit ruby crushed velvet (where can i get my hands on one of those these days??)

and do i really need to mention the connection with our flaming locks?

i feel that Angela would have definitely worn an incarnation of this had the tumultuousness of Catalano's love me/hate me dance & Rayanne's bad girl influence continued on for another season or two.

leather jacket // free people

dress // forever21

jeans // j brand

boots // cathy jean

sunnies // anthropologie

to inspire you to get into the 90's mood that i perpetually am in, i've created a playlist of just a few must have alt-rock jams.

nineties by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

happy monday!

loving lately

2012-01-15T18:49:00.000-08:00

bracelets // sunnies // bag // shoes

what are you loving lately?

In My Bag

2012-01-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by the January Photo Challenge I'm participating in on Instagram to share with you all what exactly is in my bag ::

American flag scarf by Free People

Wallet by Hobo

iPod and earplugs

Marc by Marc Jacobs coin purse

Big Red

Essie nail polish lacquers in :: Berry Naughty // Sand Tropez // Devil's Advocate

Dr. Hunter's Hand Creme

Winking Owl coin purse where I keep my Target brand TUMS {the best!} in the event that David or myself experiences tummy troubles

Sunnies from Anthropologie

Smashbox Lip Enhancing Gloss in Overexposed

M.A.C Lustreglass in Spring Bean

Burt's Beeswax Lip Balm

What's in your bag?

What are the essentials that you can't leave home without?

insta friday

2012-01-14T00:26:00.000-08:00

it's a little late, buuuuut...

husband

spying on the neighbors

I cleaned out my closet and still have this much...

Just Dance 3 is a great workout

my poor brother isn't allowed to eat cake.

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

films friday // pride and prejudice

2012-01-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

Pride & Prejudice

I honestly have yet to meet a girl or woman who has admitted to not loving anything to do with Jane Austen. Some are BBC film adaptation purists, and some, like me, are more feature film lovers of Austen adaptations.

I must admit that I'm not the biggest of Keira Knightly's fans. In fact, before I saw this version of P&P, I couldn't stand to watch her. The way she moves her mouth and jaw aways irked me and I could never get beyond it to let myself forget I was watching Keira Knightly instead of one of her characters. It made it really difficult for me to believe her.

But Miss Bennet...

Knightly's Miss Bennet stole my heart. I felt I knew her.

But then again so many young women believe they are a version of Miss Bennet. Feminist for her time. Stubbornly devoted to her beliefs, yet secretly dreaming of love.

There really isn't much at all I don't like about this film.

In fact, there are moments so perfect I can't help but watch over and over. Like this scene. And this, this moment slays me.

Just lovely.

Jesus > Religion

2012-01-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not a fan of "spoken word".
Being an artist (I still feel weird referring to myself as an artist) you'd think I'd naturally love "spoken word", but I just don't. It's kinda like how I studied/adore theatre, but I hate musicals... but that's a whole different topic I won't get into right now.

So naturally when I saw Rachel's post that featured a spoken word video on Jesus > Religion (as well as all over my facebook feed), I was slightly hesitant to watch only because of the medium. But I'm not so close minded that I won't take 4 minutes out of my morning to watch it.

Woah. Water welled up my eyes.
This man speaks the truth.

In the past (and even sometimes today) I have often struggled with my "religion".
It wasn't until I let myself have a real relationship with Jesus and learn what He truly is all about that I realized the vast difference between Christ and "Christianity"*.
There have been so many people in my life that I care about who have rejected Christ because of the pain the church has subjected them to and it breaks my heart because they won't let themselves know the redeeming and unfailing love that is offered to them. I've been in their shoes. I've been hurt badly by the church on more than one occasion, so I can understand their rejection and trepidation.

And who's fault is that? It's the church's fault. Religion's... not Christ's.
And I know that it breaks His heart infinitely more.

I really can't say it better than this dude, so please watch. These words are power.

*I used quotes in "Christianity" here because I am referring to the "Christians" who don't truly understand or follow Christ, but use religion to gain power and allow themselves to be blinded in self-righteousness.

tunes tuesday - florence + the machine - ceremonials

2012-01-10T22:19:00.000-08:00

Florence + The Machine

Ceremonials

“I started off singing in church as a child. The sound of voices coming together, that was my first moment of touching something outside of myself. I'm a choir girl gone horribly, desperately wrong." -Florence Welch

This album. Gah, this album!!

I'm a little late on the bandwagon here. I have Florence + The Machine's previous two albums (Lungs & Lungs - The B-Sides), and enjoyed them both as a casual listen here and there, but though I LOVED a few tracks (specifically Cosmic Love & Heavy In Your Arms), I was never fanatically crazy about them. As a result, I didn't rush to get this album when it first hit the scene. I knew I would probably eventually sample it and then decide, but it didn't make my list of things to do right away. Last week I sampled it and realized what I have been missing for the past few months.

BAM! Instantly hooked.

This album is insanely gorgeous. It spoke to me 30 seconds in. Reminiscent of the dark beauty I drowned myself in (from age 12-now) listening to Smashing Pumpkins 1995 album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness from which my favorite song, Tonight Tonight, was birthed.

But I digress.

This album is dark, romantic, spiritual, gothic, powerful.

It is epic. At times spooky and always moody.

From pretty piano melodies

to a symphony of gorgeous voices

to drum beats you can't help but stomp your feet to.

It is clear in the lyrics the struggles and conflicts that Florence battles with. Her church upbringing influences her fixation on the spirit world, mortality and, for that matter, morality. Common themes such as love, salvation, redemption, forgiveness, guilt, loneliness and depression run rampant throughout.

Shake It Out seems to be an account of Florence's letting go of her past, her regrets, her demons, her pain and facing a rebirth and a new future, a theme I can certainly relate to. She sings with conviction, "It's hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake him off... I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart."

In Breaking Down, Florence turns something as dark as depression and loneliness on it's head by making the melody an upbeat, happy one. The juxtaposition makes it clear that the darkness can creep in no matter what your situation is or what your surroundings are.

Leave My Body, a gorgeous record, is an obvious nod to Florence's choir girl background. She is backed by a choir singing, "I'm gonna leave my body, moving on to higher ground..." and she continues the theme of mortality in her haunting What the Water Gave Me and the soothing Never Let Me Go where she sings of succumbing to the water, letting it wash over her, overflow and take her.

I love the reference to Virginia Woolf's drowning/suicide in What the Water Gave Me as she sings, "Lay me down, let the only sound be the overflow, pockets full of stones..." Woolf famously struggled with her demons and took the freedom that she believed only the water could give her. I wouldn't be surprised if Florence was influenced by Woolf in penning What the Water Gave Me.

I have been one of those who find the beauty in the dark. Most of the people I know don't understand, which is fine, but when an artist can make something gorgeous and transcendent out of darkness and pain, my eyes/ears/heart perk up. Florence + The Machine have created an album I won't soon forget and, if my suspicions are correct, neither will you.

Florence + The Machine by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

{photos via Pinterest}

Dub Dub Weigh In

2012-01-09T14:47:00.000-08:00

{Week Eight}

+ 1 lb

Change since week one: - 5.2 lbs

Change since 2006: - 35.2 lbs

So I gained one pound this week... and I'm totally okay with it.

I had a stressful week and I didn't really track much, so I expected a gain. I think sometimes we need to just allow ourselves a break when things get crazy, but the important thing to do is get right back on track, and that's exactly what I'm doing this week.

My goal for this week is really simple: track every BLT (bite lick taste).

This is my "eh, whatevs" face.

Wish me luck with my tracking this week!

insta friday

2012-01-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve party

Pinterest inky ombre nails find

Spending hours making these streamers for my church's next installation

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

His IG photos make me laugh

Savory palmiers by Ina Garten... yum.

A sweet note Davey hid under my keyboard for me to find

Dave emailed this to me and I laughed out loud

it all began...

2012-01-05T14:38:00.000-08:00

...with a Myspace message.

i'm amazed by how it all unfolded.
four years later and we are wildly different people.
we have grown together, matured with one another, taught each other, become adults.

there's no one else i would choose to have become who we are with.
he has helped make me the woman i am today.

get with the program

2012-01-04T00:48:00.000-08:00

i spent last night going over my checklist for what i need in order to send in my application to USC in time for the priority deadline (which is this coming Saturday) and i almost had a heart attack.

it's my own fault for just now realizing the deadline date was not what i had thought it was. for some reason this whole time i've been enjoying the holidays i had it in my head that the priority deadline wasn't until next week, even though i had it all written down (maybe because all the other grad programs i'm applying to have much later deadlines). so when i sat down yesterday to begin compiling a checklist/timeline and to revise/ re-write my statement of purpose essay, i realized that i let myself get even later in the game and possibly made my chances of getting into USC even slimmer. therefore, i spent the whole night rushing around getting crap organized (i.e. rush transcripts, statement of purpose essay, letters of recommendation, headshot, resume, etc.)

i have to realize that i just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. i'm going to do whatever i can to get it all sent by Thursday, even Friday at the latest, but it's not looking good. i'm even considering hand delivering it if i have everything i need by Friday... which is doubtful. it's not as though i can't still apply, it just won't be before the priority deadline, and that really bums me out.

*bang head against wall repeatedly because it's all my fault*

i'm the queen of procrastination. i just am. it's frustrating and stressful and i hate it, yet i can't seem to conquer it. why is that??

fear?

for some, fear is fuel. for me, it's paralysis... and apparently procrastination.

i keep reminding myself that there's only a slight chance that i will get accepted into an MFA in Acting (Master of Fine Arts) program so that my hopes aren't raised so high that when i'm not attending school this Fall i'll be exceedingly disappointed.

but then that leads to serious self-doubt:
i'm not good enough
i'll botch my audition
i'll write the wrong thing in my statement of purpose essay
i might not have the look they're going for this season
i'm getting older and this only comes once every year (or two)
my chances are really slim
the odds are against me
i feel ready, but am i?

it's a cycle. a vicious, heinous cycle, i tell you!

repeat after me, andrea: "don't be afraid to fail... don't be afraid to fail... don't be afraid to fail..."
thankfully USC isn't the only program i'm planning to apply to/audition for.

see?
silver lining.

...right?

whatever the outcome, acceptance into an MFA program or not, i know that there's a plan. He won't leave me hanging...
as long as i don't leave me hanging.

bring on the cheese...

{photo by Noel Hadley, cartoonified by me}

tunes tuesday - imogen heap / frou frou

2012-01-02T13:20:00.000-08:00

Imogen Heap / Frou Frou

Lately I've been listening to a lot of Imogen Heap and Frou Frou. I first started listening to Frou Frou back in 2001 or 2002, before "Let Go" was featured on the Garden State soundtrack. Though I'm selective with the kind of "Electronic" musicians and artists that I listen to, when I find a band/artist of said genre that I like, I end up LOVING them. Frou Frou was no exception and I've delightfully followed Imogen into her solo career. She's been able to, including with Frou Frou, kind of ride the wave of soundtrack fame and then continue to churn out special songs that you can't stop listening to. I was probably very much attracted to her sorrowful lyrics of unrequited love back in my college days, which is so beautifully combined with interesting and unexpected beats and noise bites. I'm usually not a fan of auto tune, but her voice lends itself very well to it... I think. I tend to listen to her mostly in the car or with my headphones on when I'm doing something creative. She has a way of fueling me when I'm in a creative mood and keep me going and thinking and inspired. I really relish in artists that can be that for me. I hope that if you haven't given her a shot, you'll find something you like in these tracks.

Frou Frou/Heap by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

{Grooveshark only had the instrumental versions from Imogen's album Ellipse available, so I turned to Hypster to make a separate playlist so you can hear my favorites from that album as well}

Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist.

Dub Dub Weigh In

2012-01-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

{Week Seven}

- 1.6 lbs

Change since week one: - 6.2 lbs

Change since 2006: - 36.2 lbs

This is crazy people. I lost during the Christmas holiday.

Actually, I kinda cheated. I ate like crazy on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and Christmas evening... but by the time we got home the flu I hadn't realized I caught sometime while I was stuffing my face reared it's extremely ugly head.

I won't gross you out with the details, but it was literally the worst flu of my life. I don't think I've ever been so violently sick... EVER. It was so bad that at 3am on Dec. 26th, I was dry heaving because I had completely emptied my body of every little thing I ate the previous 24 hours.

We got home after our Christmas festivities and bundled up to watch a movie even though my stomach wasn't feeling all that great and within an hour of being home I was spending every 20 minutes in the bathroom. I knew when I was gonna be sick because I'd start to sweat bullets and get extremely dizzy and more nauseated than a person should ever be. I'd run to the bathroom and within a minute of walking out of the bathroom I would get the chills for 10-15 minutes, wrap myself in blankets like an Eskimo, and then it would start all over again. It was awful.

Five members of my family, including myself, got the flu. We all just passed it around. I don't know how some people managed to dodge it, including Dave. He never gets sick, he just watches me moan and sweat and get the chills. I'm the one with the poor immune system who catches everything and yet refuses to get any vaccinations (makes total sense, right?).

Thankfully it was only a 24 hour bug and I felt much better by the 27th, even though I still don't have a full appetite and every time I eat dinner (which is usually my largest meal), I start to feel a little sick again. Oh well, I'm still alive and that's all that matters!

So that's why I lost during the Christmas holiday, it had nothing to do with any willpower of my own, though I wish it had.

This week my goals are to start exercising again (I stopped for a few weeks) and I think I'll start with Pilates and/or Yoga... wish me luck this week! :)

Thumbs down for being sick. Thumbs up for losing weight during Christmas

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T12:24:00.000-08:00

{images via Pinterest}

2011 wasn't a bad year. In fact, it was pretty good. It was certainly a whole lot better than the last half of 2010, that's for sure. Last year I didn't make any resolutions and this year I might not either. I haven't actually thought about it.

This year I want my life to keep changing. In the last few months I've become a whole lot more open to things changing and shifting. I've opened my heart up to what God wants to do in my life. I'm learning to trust Him and truly believe that He knows what's best for me. I thought I trusted Him. I thought I believed in and asked for what He wants for me, but in 2011 I realized that I didn't. Once I realized that and admitted it to Him and to myself, things started to change.

I'm opening myself up for more change. I'm trusting in Him more. When I finally admitted to Him and to myself my frustration and anger towards Him, when I admitted my lack of trust in His plan, He so graciously gave me the gift of showing me just a speck of what He is capable of doing in my life, therefore I'm trusting that He's got this and I don't need to be such a worry wart 24/7. I can leave it all up to Him and not try to control every-little-thing-all-the-time.

That's so exhausting.

I'm not gonna kid myself, I know there will still be times when I want to pull my hair out because I can't control it all... but hopefully I'll have the ability to step back and let go.

I changed my mind. I do have a resolution for 2012.
This year it's not to lose weight like it is every year (although I'll never give up on that).

My 2012 resolution is to let go.

LET GO... and trust in Him.

Happy New Year to all of my faithful followers! I love you guys <3

inspire

2011-12-31T12:56:00.000-08:00

Reason #856 why I love Pinterest:

I would never have known about these artists and what they have created, therefore I would never have been inspired by these images. It's only been in the last few years that I've been interested in installations and modern art. I always hated modern art because the only art I saw by contemporaries were paintings a 6-year-old could create, which made them very unimpressive and uninspiring to me.

Until recently I was just not interested, but now I'm finding that I love modern art. I love 3-dimensional pieces and installations on a large scale. I'm sure working at Anthropologie for two years helped me appreciate the amazing things you can create out of ordinary objects.

These are a few images I've seen recently that really inspire me to create.

3-dimensional paintings by Gerry Judah

ceramics by Christina Brinkman

ceramics by Jeanne Opgenhaffen

cardboard jewelry by Lydia Hirte

recycled paper jewelry by Janna Syvanoja

paper art by Karen Margolis

{all images via Pinterest}

What has inspired you to create lately?

need a laugh?

2011-12-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

a few months back my friend Lauren was telling me about the "sweet berry wine" youtube video she saw. I already knew of John C. Reilly's Dr. Steve Brule, but I had never seen these two videos and ever since then, whenever I feel like laughing I just watch these. To me, they never get old.

I'm gonna be that annoying know-it-all right now and say how I've known who Zach Galifianakis is for much longer than the rest of the world has. My friend Nicole introduced me to his standup videos years ago and I still find them funnier than any of his big time movie roles these days...

crazy christmas

2011-12-20T17:55:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's almost Christmas. I'M NOT READY!
I haven't had the time to Christmas shop. I'm supposed to go over to Lauren's house to wrap presents with her tomorrow, but I have no presents to wrap yet.

I've just been so busy that I haven't had the time to shop AND I'm avoiding crowds like the plague. I hate crowds. I feel like that big guy in that Christmas commercial who's shopping with his mom at a crowded store and someone bumps into him when his mom says, "Let it go!" and he yells, "But everyone's bumping into me!!!" - that guy is totally me. I tried looking up that commercial on youtube but apparently it's not there. I laugh every time it's on tv.

This past weekend I basically moved all of my Christmas decorations over to our church to decorate for the Christmas party. It was an 8 hour day (thanks to Chanell, Lauren and Noel for all your help!) and then after the party was done we took it all down. On Sunday I redecorated my house. Oh and did I mention that I baked apple pie (which won the bake off in it's category!), jam crumb bars and chocolate cupcakes with buttercream frosting for the party? Yup.

Oh and I also memorized a monologue from Twelfth Night...
and worked on the dialect for my second monologue. If you don't get the famous deep southern drawl right for a Tennessee Williams play (in this case Summer and Smoke), then it's useless to even do the monologue at all. I've spent hours on both monologues. By the end of today I'll have spent close to 5 hours since this morning on them both. I have no idea how many hours I put into it this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going over to Sue's house so she can coach me on the monologues and I have to say I'm pretty nervous. I've worked with Sue many times, but the thought of anyone coaching me on audition pieces scares the crap out of me. I hate auditions (let's face it, who doesn't?). I really don't know how I've gotten any roles because I'm so bad at them... oh wait, I know why. Because most of the plays I've been cast in were only because the director knew he/she would cast me anyway, so it didn't matter if my monologue sucked or if I even delivered one. In fact, for my audition piece that was to get the part of my favorite character to date, I completely blanked half way into it. I just stared into space, then said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember a thing." and then the director said, "I'll see you at callbacks." I only got that part because of my appearance at the time and because the director (Sue) knew what I was capable of and that I could play that part. Thank God or I would have been so sad to not get that role.

But I digress.

I know the Twelfth Night monologue. I have it word perfect, but I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that tomorrow when Sue starts working with me on it I'm going to totally blank. I don't know what happens to me, I just freeze up. Auditioning is this weird thing that (I personally feel) does, in no way, show a director or casting agent what I'm capable of. Get me into the rehearsal process, give me direction and a little time to do my research and I'm good to go, but throw me in a room with a panel of people staring at me and I crumble.

This is the sole reason why I chickened out last year and didn't do any of my grad school applications and auditions. I told myself I wasn't ready, but really it was because I was terrified of that imaginary panel of people. This year, I'm forcing myself to take it step by step until I get to that day when I have to stand in front of all those judgmental orbs and pour my heart out... or stand there staring blankly into space.

And I've been one of those judgmental orbs! I've cast or helped cast shows before and I know that it's nothing personal. Everyone's just looking for the right type... but still it terrifies me.

Wow, that was quite a tangent. I wasn't planning on this post going in that direction, but whatever.

~~~

Anyway, what I meant to write about was how I've been too busy to shop and too busy to blog lately. So since I skipped Monday's WW post, I shall publish it here on this post.

{Week Five}

- 1.4 lbs

Change since week one: - 4.6 lbs

Change since 2006: - 34.6 lbs

I lost this week! I'm so happy that my low carb/low sugar intake is really working. Granted, I did pig out on desserts this past weekend at the party and the next day (hello carb and sugar heaven), so I won't be surprised if this week isn't so successful. This week and next I'm weighing in on Saturdays instead of Sundays because all of the holidays and parties are falling on Saturday and Sunday. It'll just give me a bit of an edge. By the first of the year I'll be back to weighing in on Sundays.

I'm really finding that lowering my carb and sugar intake is really a lot easier than I imagined it would be. If I ever have a hankering or want to cheat, I just remember that on my weigh in days I can indulge and that seems to help me feel less deprived. There are definitely weeks when I want that cupcake or even something as silly as a marshmallow and I go for it, but that's okay. Just as long as I stay in moderation I'll be good.

Even if next week's weigh in isn't so good, I'm not giving up. I'll get right back on the horse, and if it is okay, then all the merrier.

drought (and a fresh new look)

2011-12-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

{image source}

it may seem as though i have fallen off the face of the earth.

or that i don't care.

or that i have given up.

or that i'm just too busy to put in the time and effort it takes to keep a blog running.

and read other blogs.

i'm going to be completely honest here.

for a while i didn't care.

i did give up (almost).

i have been extremely busy.

i haven't read any blogs. at all.

i passed up opportunities to be featured on some really great blogs.

i passed up many opportunities to write what's going on in my head and in my heart.

i literally avoided even looking at my computer.

for the past couple of months i have been busy rehearsing for the play i associate directed at VUSC and supporting the cast and crew by seeing as many performances as i could.

i have been so busy that i only just began my Christmas shopping (two down, i don't even want to think about how many more to go).

i haven't even thought about sending out Christmas cards.

i only recently decorated my house for the holidays.

i have been doing well at WW, as far as i know.

i have spent all of my free time with David (the hubs), Bogart (the kitteh) and with Lisbeth Salander (those books are crazy good).

and some time with the Bard (Shakespeare, that is).

i have been working on some monologues, doing as much as i can in a short period of time and too little hours in the day to prepare for grad school applications/auditions.

i have been thinking a lot about the play that i am going to start writing this year with the help of one of my favorite college professors, Warren "Sir" Doody (the "Sir" is an inside joke, sorry to be so elitist).

i have been asked by my mentor, head of the theatre department at VUSC, and founder of American Coast Theater Co., Sue Berkompas, to play the lead in one of ACTC's summer 2012 plays, which just so happens to be written by Sir Doody himself (i'm a lucky gal these days).

all of that to say, i've been busy.

i've put he calls me wifey on the back burner.

i got lazy.

i hope you all can understand.

but being busy wasn't the only thing keeping me away.

i've written drafts of the reason(s) why, but never had the nerve to hit publish.

maybe this season i will.

but not today.

so to hopefully kick start my blogging again, i have refurbished the place.

i've spruced it up a bit to help me get back into the swing of things, to cease this drought.

i needed a fresh start.

i needed a new look.

i hope you like the new look of this space.

Dub Dub Weigh In

2011-11-28T08:33:00.001-08:00

{Week Two}

+ 0.4 lbs

Change since week one: - 1.8 lbs

Change since 2006: 31.8 lbs

So I gained a little bit this week, but honestly I'm not worried about it. It was Thanksgiving week. Gaining less than a pound during Thanksgiving is a success to me because I have definitely had years when Thanksgiving set me back a few el bees. The best I can do is get back on track and keep losing. I won't let the holidays weigh me down. No sir.

Thank you to everyone who is so supportive of my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. It really means a lot <3

Wish me luck for this week, friends!

films friday - rushmore

2011-11-25T18:29:00.001-08:00

RUSHMORE

Here are just a few wonderful things I can say about Rushmore, one of my favorite comedies of all time:

Wes Anderson
Bill Murray
Jason Schwartzman
HILARITY

The film speaks for itself. Just watch it. You will not regret it. (and just in time for it to be released on the Criterion Collection blu-ray).

Dub Dub Weigh In

2011-11-21T09:03:00.001-08:00

{Week One}

- 3.8 lbs

Change since 2006: 32.2 lbs

I'm starting over!!

Okay so I know it's not really week one, but I've started all over again in my mind with this, so I think my documented journey needs to start over as well. When I started this whole public WW journey, I lost 10 lbs pretty easily and it was awesome. THEN I went to Europe and ruined it all. If you've been reading my journey you already know that my biggest weakness is travel. I'm a foodie so I love to try all the deliciousness that other states and countries have to offer. Unfortunately, my waistline seriously suffers.

It's been four stupid months since I got back from Europe and I still haven't dropped the weight I gained there, or the other 20 I wanna lose. I know below it says my goal weight is 140, but it really is 130. The reason my goal at WW is 140 is because once you reach your goal and stay there for 6 weeks, you become a Lifetime member and you don't have to pay to be a part of WW EVER AGAIN! I'm so done with paying for my weigh ins.

I got incredibly fed up last week and just decided to do something that seemed, to me, absolutely insane: I cut out unneeded carbs and sugar. I live for carbs like pasta, bread, grains, beans, etc. No more. I mean, obviously I'll let myself have some pasta every once in a while (like once every week or two), but I need to get this weight off of me and get back on track to feeling healthy and confident, so bye bye carbs & sugar! Obviously I'll be enjoying myself on Thanksgiving, but I'm not gonna go crazy and I'm not going to eat more than one meal if we end up going to multiple dinners.

So after a week of no carbs/no sugar I lost 3.8 lbs!!

I have to be honest, I am eating carbs/sugar that come from fruits & vegetables and I'm allowing myself cheese (now THAT I cannot live without again), & some salad dressings. Basically, I've been eating a lot of eggs, fruit/veggies, cheese, chicken/fish/turkey/pork, & nuts. That's about it. I feel totally satisfied and have even lost some of my appetite. I'm not nearly as hungry all the time as I used to be.

I hope I stick with this because even though it sometimes gets hard to not let myself get off track, I am obviously seeing the fruits of my labor. I mean, I honestly don't think I've lost more than 3.5 lbs in one week doing WW, even when I was a lot heavier and it was easier to lose. I'm stoked and pumped and motivated.

Like I said before, I am not gonna go crazy at Thanksgiving, even though I'm baking two pies, sweet potato gratin, and my "famous" jam crumb bars. BUT I won't let myself get pissed off if I have a bit of a gain or stay the same next week when I weigh in. As long as I limit my Thanksgiving feasting to ONLY Thursday, I should be fine. I've lost weight during the holidays before and I know I can do it again.

{To read all about why I began this public WW journey click here}

This is my "are you kidding?!?" face.

tunes tuesday - yeah yeah yeahs

2011-11-15T10:02:00.001-08:00

Yeah Yeah Yeahs!

The first time I ever heard Yeah Yeah Yeahs was in a car in the desert of Palm Springs at night with my then boyfriend and some high school guy friends. It was 2003 and I fell in love... with Karen O and her Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The album Fever To Tell became an instant favorite and Maps hit me like a ton of bricks. It since became their hit and now I consider Y Control a favorite. Big time favorite.

This band fueled one of my angst phases and got me through some of my toughest of college days.

I loved them so much my nickname became YeahYeahYeAndrea, which was shortened to YeAndrea, then eventually evolved into just plain ol' Yeah. My friend Knuckles, er excuse me, Kris, still calls me Yeah to this day.

There isn't really much I can say about this band that won't speak for themselves. I have to admit that I'm more of a fan of their earlier work. With each new album, they've seem to become more and more user friendly and I'm still waiting for them to get back in touch with their much edgier roots, so what I've put together for you is mostly their early albums and EPs.

Disclaimer: YYYs are NOT for everyone. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs by Andrea Carpenter on Grooveshark

{all photos: pinterest}

it's not all about me

2011-11-14T14:23:00.001-08:00

you may have noticed that i haven't been around lately.

i don't exactly know what happened. i got swamped with the play i am currently associate directing, i've been spending a lot of time either being lazy and watching Friday Night Lights with David, or obsessing over my diet (surprise, surprise), thinking a lot about what the next few months holds for me and how absolutely terrified i'm trying to avoid becoming because of it & generally i have just been so unmotivated to blog.

there is one reason in particular that i won't discuss now. i started to write about it, but then it turned into a post that i felt deserves it's own time and attention.

another reason why i haven't blogged in a while is that i'm just lazy. i've been at a loss for things to talk about or post, so i just haven't.

i fully realize that not posting on a regular basis is death to a blog, which is why i'm sitting here right now, taking the time to just get back on it, hoping i haven't lost you (and yes, i mean you, the person taking the time out of his or her day to read this, to which i am so thankful). if you read my blog, you deserve better than this.

so i just wanted to fill you in on a little something interesting that happened to me today.

i woke up at 7am to begin my day, but before i crawled out of bed i scooped Bogart up into my arms to cuddle for 5 minutes... 2 and a half hours later i woke up frantically. i had fallen back asleep and the plans for my day immediately shifted. since i decided to start this semi-paleo diet this week, i couldn't eat my breakfast until i went to the grocery store for some eggs and i knew i'd be getting really hungry quickly.

after getting myself up, teeth brushed, hair... who am i kidding? clothes changed, shoes on, list composed and out the door to the nearest store (i wanted to go to Whole Foods, but had to settle for the local Albertson's down the street due to my impromptu morning nap), i spent the next hour filling my cart with fruits and veggies, proteins and healthy fats (no sugar, low carbs).

i strolled on over to the checkout, unloaded my cart and was up next when i realized that i had left my wallet at home. this never happens to me. never. i am always triple checking to make sure i've got everything before i leave the house. today i had to change my credit card on amazon so as to purchase a play that i am hoping contains my second monologue for my grad school auditions early next year... but that's a whole other story.

thankfully the man at the checkout was totally okay with me filling my cart back up and leaving it there so i could run home to retrieve my forgotten wallet. extremely irritated, i left the store, raced home and back. as i ran towards the sliding doors of the entrance, a homeless man (who was not there before i frantically left the store earlier) asked me for some change. running by him i shouted, "i might have some change on my way out." after waiting in line again, checking out and paying, i gathered about a buck fifty in change to hand off to the man waiting outside.

immediately as i walked out through the sliding doors and handed the man his money he marveled at my full cart of groceries and said, "wow, that was fast! how did you get all of those and in line so quickly?"

i explained to him the situation while laughing at my stupidity, then as i went to leave he thanked me profusely and added quite a few "God bless you"s and "have a good day"s, to which i repeated back at him. as i unloaded my cart into my trunk and exited the parking lot i thought about what the man might do with the $1.50 in change i gave him. i resigned to thinking that even if the guy got some more cash and spent it on booze or anything else that might hurt more than help him, i should just let it go because the point isn't for me to worry about what he might spend it on, but to give out of compassion & sincerity and hope for the best. then after that thought passed an irritated one quickly took it's place as i got stopped at the long left hand turn lane light. i was annoyed. my day was kinda shot. sitting at this long line wasn't helping.

a few minutes into the line i looked up and saw the same man i had given a buck fifty to cross the street in front of me with a smile on his face and a can of nuts in his hand, popping them into his mouth and strolling along like it was a great day.

seeing that immediately made me thankful that i accidentally slept in, that i left my wallet at home, that i had to drive all the way home and back, that i had to wait in line all over again. if i hadn't then i wouldn't have seen that my measly change made a difference in this man's day.

it's not about me. i almost didn't even post this because i'm honestly not trying to say, "oh look at me! i'm a great person! i gave some change to a hungry homeless man! i'm so awesome!!"

NO.

it's not like i bought this man an entire meal and told him how to find the nearest rescue mission, all i gave him was some change. i don't deserve some kind of award or star on my crown. it didn't change his life.

the reason i decided to share this is because i am so thankful that God has blessed me with so much more than i deserve. i am so thankful that he showed me that something so irritating to me can be turned into something that blesses someone else while blessing me at the same time. we never know why things happen the way they do and i may not have even seen the result of my tiny contribution and therefore not realized that God used what i viewed as a crappy beginning of my day to bless someone else. but i am thankful that He allowed me to see that. i am thankful that it's not all about me. if it were all about me, life would really blow.

most people would chalk this up to good luck or co-incidence, but i believe God used me in a tiny way, and i'm so glad He did.

insta friday

2011-11-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

insta friday

2011-10-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

the pumpkin i never finished carving

Dave's scared Laker fan pumpkin

preparing our spiked apple cider

prosciutto, arugula and tomato panini

can't get enough

discussing The Walking Dead with Kris

#flashbackfriday mere months into marriage

#flashbackfriday Kris and I circa 2003... our hair!

this is Edward's face as he stares at Bella wondering why Kristen Stewart has to ruin the movies with her incredibly cringeworthy awkwardness

Market203

2011-10-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

I've really been wanting to feature this Etsy shop for a while now, but my greediness held me back. I finally decided that it just isn't fair to not let everyone know about how fantastic this shop is.

Market203

Not only is Cassie of The Veda House a wonderful blogger, has irresistible vintage items in her Etsy shop, is a photographer I admire and has a keen eye and taste for modern, clean, minimalist decor, but she is such a sweet, dear person on top of it all.

I highly encourage you to follow her blog, check out her shop and make sure that when the holidays begin to quickly approach and you need a gift for the vintage lover on your list (a.k.a. me!), purchase from Cassie. I myself have purchased from her shop before and I've got nothing but praise to deliver. Not only did I receive my item at lightning speed, but she continued to keep in contact with me throughout the entire process. She is stellar and so is her blog & shop. Oh, and did I mention that all of the items in her shop are ridiculously reasonably priced? Yeah, I know. It doesn't get better than that.

I honestly love every single thing in her shop and I wish I could buy them all, but since I want you to check it out for yourself, I'll just show you a few of my favorite items and pray selfishly that they aren't all snatched by the time I'm ready for my next purchase.

Enjoy!

{Historical Cigar Box - Chromolithographed}

{Mid Century Flower Pattern Biscuit Tin}

{Set of Vintage Blue Film Reel Canisters}

{Vintage Silver Ribbed Thermos}

{Vintage Decorative Tin with Floral Pattern}

{Industrial Stacking 2 Drawer}

{Vintage Glass Measuring Cup Pitcher}

{Vintage Sewing Drawer}

{Mid-Century Industrial Cone Table Lamp - Stonco Lighting Inc}

Can you tell that I have a thing for tins??
What Etsy shop are you in love with?

tunes tuesday - t. rex

2011-10-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about my favorite band, shall we?

T. REX

T. Rex frontman Marc Bolan could very well be the king of Glam Rock and in his short life he created some of the best music of the late 60's and the 70's. He and T. Rex have been and still are the influence and inspiration of so many musicians and bands since they appeared on the scene in the U.K.

T. Rex started out as Tyrannosaurus Rex, as a folk band in 1967, but soon shortened their moniker and changed their sound to include a lot more electric guitar and a lot of glitter. Bolan was heavily influenced by Roman and Greek mythology which is showcased in many of their songs. Bolan's voice is so unique and oddly beautiful that it fits perfectly with not only the sometimes very strange lyrics, but with the moody melodies. In some cases, the song Cosmic Dancer for example, the mix of classic and contemporary rock flow and intertwine together in a gorgeous idiosyncratic way that you can't help but listen to it again and again in a continuous row for long periods of time.

It's probably not a secret that classic rock is my favorite musical genre, but T. Rex was definitely one of the first bands that ever got me to adore rock and roll as much as I do today. I still never ever get tired of putting on one of their records at home or blasting them on my iPod in my car.

Glam Rock might not be your thing, but you can't deny the genius of Marc Bolan/T. Rex. This music just makes you wanna get up and dance... or lay around and relax and contemplate the meaning of life (haha).

I honestly could go on and on about T. Rex, I love them so much. I just can't get enough, but I'd rather you'd listen to them instead of reading all the heavy praise I could dole out.

Though all of their albums are fantastic, I'd have to say the The Slider is my favorite. It's always the first vinyl I'll pull out of the sleeve and play. To me, it's perfect.

{all photos via pinterest}

Dub Dub Weigh In

2011-10-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

This week was really disappointing.

And not because I gained or stayed the same.

Not because I had a bad week.

I actually had a great week and knew for sure I would be down at least 0.5 - 1 lbs.

This week was really disappointing because I couldn't weigh in.

We had planned to go to another church yesterday because our best friend was preaching and we had not seen him preach yet. The service began at 11am, which is late for us, but it was a nice change because we'd get to sleep in. Our usual morning consists of waking up early enough to get ready for our young marrieds group at 9:40, but we always go to the early morning 8am meeting at Weight Watchers by our church, then we kill some time at Starbucks because it's always early.

So I'm in the bathroom doing my hair, almost ready, when Dave waltzes in and says, "I don't think we'll have time to go to Weight Watchers..."

"WHAT?! WHY??" I kind of yell.

"Because Dominic's church is 45 minutes away."

"Why in the world didn't you tell me last night?"

"I told you where it was"

"But you didn't tell me how far it was."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

That's when I stomp around getting my crap together and Dave is profusely apologizing and telling me that we can just swing by really fast so I can weigh in and if we're a few minutes late, oh well. Poor guy, he felt so bad...

So I agree, we rush out the door and on our way there I realize that I didn't actually look at what time the other Sunday meetings were and so I looked it up on my phone. I had assumed that there was a 10am meeting because that's the time I used to go on Saturdays. It was already 10:15 and the Sunday meeting had started at 9:30.

So it was both of our faults. That's what Dave gets for assuming that I know how far away the church was and that's what I get for assuming the meeting times.

Assumption gets you nowhere.

No Dub Dub this week. And it was a really great week. I just know I lost this week.

Oh well, I'll just have to really make sure I'm on top of things this week. Usually when I skip a weigh in, I'm up the next time I go. I DO NOT want that to happen.

Sunday mornings can be so complicated sometimes.

the patch

2011-10-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

This week David and I went to a local pumpkin patch.

We later carved our pumpkins (mine's not finished yet) and watched Charlie Brown.

We also drank spiked hot apple cider and watched a scary movie.

My favorite season has finally arrived.

Have you gone to a pumpkin patch yet this season?

insta friday

2011-10-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

i'm becoming a coffee drinker thanks to my husband

in the gold polish mood

cuddling with the kitteh

my husband has such a servant heart <3

getting back to my fitness roots with billy blanks

getting crafty with polish

lemon chicken breast with couscous

after a long rehearsal we went to RA for sushi so that i didn't have to cook

ecstatic over the addition of the wonder years to netflix

another production has begun

i'm kind of obsessed with...

2011-10-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

GOLD!!!

{all images via Pinterest}

What are you obsessing over right now?

i'm dying to see...

2011-10-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

It's got to be obvious if you know me or read my blog that I'm a huge film buff. I love films so much it's kind of ridiculous. When I see trailers for films I want to see it makes me super giddy and excited and just totally pumped.

Here are a list of trailers of films that I'm kind of dying to see.

THE HUNGER GAMES!!! Why is March four months away? I can't wait. Dave won't even watch this teaser because he doesn't want it to spoil it for him. He read the series after I basically begged him to and went nuts over it (duh) and we're both going to read the first book again before the film is released. I CAN'T WAIT.

The Hunger Games Theatrical Trailer

Now, I have yet to read this book series, but after watching both of these trailers I am dead set on starting them before the release date of this film. I know there have been other film adaptations, but this is David Fincher we're talking about. I'm waiting for this one.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Teaser Trailer

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Theatrical Trailer

Pretty much anything to do with Shakespeare I jump on. This looks pretty awesome.

Anonymous Theatrical Trailer

I'm a HUGE Edgar Allan Poe fan. I mean, big time fan. I'm a little disappointed that this isn't a biopic, but it's okay. I'll still see it just because it's Poe.

The Raven Theatrical Trailer

I used to have posters of Monroe all over my room growing up. I've seen almost all of her films. She's always really fascinated me. This looks pretty good.

My Week With Marilyn Theatrical Trailer

Something about this movie intrigues me.

Like Crazy Theatrical Trailer

Leo. Eastwood. Biopic. Enough said.

J. Edgar Theatrical Trailer

Meryl Streep. That's all I have to say. Meryl freaking Streep.

The Iron Lady Theatrical Trailer

What upcoming films are you dying to see?

pinterest finds

2011-10-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

I had a very full day today. From waking up to sitting here, ready for bed, I've been pretty much on the go.

So in lieu of my regular weekly music post (tunes tuesday), I shall share some Pinterest images that make me happy to look at.

I hope you enjoy.

{you can find all of these images and a whole lot more on my Pinterest}

Dub Dub Weigh In

2011-10-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

{Week Twenty Four}

-0.2 lbs

Change since week one: +1 lb

Change since 2006: -29 lbs

So I'm still back where I started at week one of this public journey, but I'm making my way (slowly) back down.

Last week I didn't weigh in because the schedule at the women's retreat kept me from going in Murrieta. I was okay with that because all weekend we were being served tons of food and I had no clue about points. I scaled my portion sizes down, but it really didn't matter. I'm just really happy that I lost something this week, even though it was only 0.2 lbs. It's better than nothing! Every little bit counts!

Wish me luck this week. I'm really tired of still being back where I started 6 months ago. I want to lose these 10 lbs I've been yo-yoing for the last year and then some! I'll just keep using exclamation points to get myself excited and motivated to keep going!!!

This is my "not too shabby" face.

To read more about why I chose to document my weight loss journey (and make my weight public, eek!) click here.

a brute beast before him

2011-10-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

Psalm 73:21-28
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

Today at church Pastor Greg spoke his message from this passage in Scripture and it touched me so much because of how much it resonated within my heart.

Throughout my life, even the lonesome times when I haven't followed Him and have found myself far away from Him, I have always turned to Jesus when my heart is bleeding and He has always held it in His hands. In my darkest moments when I don't even recognize myself, He is there to hold me up. He is there to be my strength. Just as I touched on early this week, He is always made strong in my weakness.

During the most sorrowful moments scattered amongst my young life, He always envelopes me in the arms of His comfort. When I deserve it the least He is generous to nurture me and faithful to bring me back to Him.

Pastor Greg mentioned that during this week we should consider how the Lord holds our hand through our brokenness and our pain. Greg asked us to appreciate God's nearness and lean on Him in troubles, rather than hiding from Him or walking away because of shame or guilt. Greg urged us to think about how His body was broken so that we could have security and stability with Him.

Since the women's retreat last weekend I have reminded myself daily that He will never give up on guiding me through my life. He knows the deepest desires of my heart and He knows my gifts much better than even I do. Though I do not know, He knows what His plan is. I can rest assured knowing that whatever the objective for my life is, He will fulfill it if I just wait on Him, if I ask Him and trust Him to attain it, if I am faithful to remember and to believe that He is faithful and just and will bring to fruition His promise to me.

Though others have failed me. Though I have failed me. He will not.
He will never go back on His Word.

I am thankful that though I am selfish, though I am undeserving, though I was a brute beast before Him, though I am endlessly flawed, He loves me. He is jealous for me. He cries for me. He hopes for me. He delights in me. He created me for a purpose. His love for me endures forever.

{I took this photos in Austria this Summer.

Being there, surrounded by the beauty and majesty of the Alps,

I couldn't help but be in complete awe of His creation}

Drive, D.I.Y. & Girls' Night

2011-10-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

The dear, sweet Rachel of No. 17 was kind enough to invite Kacie and myself for a girls' night last night. We met up at the Fish Company in Los Alamitos for second dinner/coffee/dessert. We were so happy to meet a few new friends (Liz, Mary, Andrea & Alissa) and spend some quality time with these lovely ladies. Unfortunately I didn't snap any photos, but I'm so glad that we had that chance to chat and get to know one another. I'm definitely looking forward to another girls' night soon. And next time I'll order second dinner or dessert instead of sharing a non-meal with Kacie, haha.

Today David and I slept in a little, cuddled, talked, worked out, watched a marathon of Friday Night Lights (it's our new obsession. only Dave would convince me to watch a show about football, BUT it's not all about football, I love it!) ate dinner and just spent the day generally lazing around. I experimented on my nails a bit. I was inspired by some Pinterest photos I've seen of all the wonderous things you can do with nail polish these days. My experimentation wasn't anything crazy or ground breaking, just a little fun.

And since I don't do much with nail polish, of course I ended up choosing the most neutral color in my collection of nail colors. This nail art definitely calls for a bright, loud color. Next time I'm definitely going for the red or the bright mint (that's about the extent of the crazy nail colors in my collection).

{they're not perfect, but it was my first time.

plus i was impatient to let the polish dry before taking the tape off}

All you need is clear top coat, nail color of choice, tape (next time I'm using painter's tape), and scissors.

1. Cut small strips of tape and lay them diagonally on your nail, making sure to cut the sides if necessary and really pressing the tape to your nail to ensure that the polish won't bleed.

2. Carefully paint the exposed nail with two coats.

3. Wait for the nail polish to dry before peeling tape off, then apply a clear top coat.

and voila! homemade nail art.

I'm sure you could do this with two colors by applying a lighter color to the whole nail and letting dry completely (probably overnight) before attempting the first step with a darker color polish.

What are your favorite nail polish colors?

p.s. I can't get the movie Drive or the soundtrack out of my head. the soundtrack TOTALLY reminds me of my college days watching Party Monster, going to 82 and sipping Andre.

who else is obsessing over these songs?!?

{images source}

films friday - the prestige

2011-10-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

The Prestige

This film, like every other Christopher Nolan film I have seen, is one that you need to watch twice.

There are a laundry list of reasons why I love this film, so I'll just break it down.

The Actors:

There are three actors that I adore and who's career I've been following for years. One of them is Christian Bale. I first fell in love with Bale when I swooned over him in Newsies back in the early 90's. Since then he has proven his talent over and over with a myriad of amazing performances. The films themselves may not have always been the best (even though I love them anyway), but his performances are almost always the best part. He, like no other actor I know of, is a master of dialect. And if anyone has ever attempted to study a dialect for a character, you know that it is crazy difficult, even if you are a natural. But it's not just his dialect that blows my mind with every performance, it's how he so perfectly slips into each character as if he was born to play it. It was only until recently that he finally was recognized by the academy for his incredible talent, which was for his stellar, scene stealing performance in The Fighter. I personally feel that though he wholeheartedly deserved that award, it should not have been his first Oscar... but then again, awards aren't why actors do what they do... at least I hope not... and in the long run, it's your career choices that define your work. The three actors whose work I admire the most have chosen roles that define their work as that of someone who has proven time and time again that they were born to act.

Christian Bale is subtly stunning in this film.

Hugh Jackman has got some range. He acts, he sings, he dances, he fights. What I love about this performance is his portrayal of the degradation of obsession. He plays it in such a way that it makes you want to just yell at his character to give it up and just let go. Anytime an actor can get an emotional reaction out of me like that has done a pretty convincing job.

David Bowie. Oh, how I LOVE that Bowie is in this. He was the first and only choice for Christopher Nolan as Tesla and I can see why. Although Bowie resisted this role for a long time, Nolan finally wore him down and convinced him that no other could portray the man who changed the Industrial world as we know it. Thank God he said yes. He impressed me.

Michael Caine is just awesome. He has such a tender quality about him and can play the voice of reason in any film with such sincerity. I just love him in this role.

The Director:

Christopher Nolan is one of my favorites. If you've seen his films, you should know why (Inception, Momento... hello!). He's so perfect at making a film that gets you really thinking and gets you really excited and needing more. Like I said before, he makes the kind of films that, immediately after you've finished them, you need to watch it again from a different perspective. That's good filmmaking right there.

The Costumes/Set Design/Era:

I love the industrial revolution/victorian era. Since I was a little girl I've been fascinated by it. My mom had photos of Gibson Girls sprinkled around the house and she even used a Victorian era boot as a planter for dried flowers and I was always transfixed by it. The costumes, props, set design all give me a real comfortable, homey feel. I just can't get enough of it. The high neck collars, the men's hats and suits, the performance costumes, the beards and mustaches! It's all just so beautiful.

The Themes:

What I find so perfect and so intriguing is how this film itself is like a magic trick. Not only is it about magicians themselves, but it's as if Nolan (and the author of the book) is the ultimate magician. As you watch the film you're watching the magic trick unfold before your eyes and when you get to the end, if you're not watching closely, you could miss a part of it. That's why you have to see it again. You know how it unfolds in the end, but you need to revisit how it happened.

The Filming:

I really get excited when a scene is filmed as theatrically as possible. Multiple cameras were used in order to make sure that scenes had as few stops as possible. This kind of filmmaking seems to be the closest to live theatre as possible in that the camera just keeps rolling for multiple pages of the script. That means that getting each line, mark, blocking, everything right is so important because the cameras just keep going. I LOVE IT. It makes rehearsal important. I'm the kind of actor that loves rehearsal because that's when the discoveries happen, and that's when it becomes second nature, so I love to see that on film.

Oh, and it's super suspenseful. Just watch it, you'll thank me.

{images source}

Insta Friday

2011-10-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

{women's retreat in Murrieta, Hot Springs}

{animal style grilled cheese...yum}

{date night with David}

{food of the week}

{Irish steel cut oats}

{sinus infection nighttime tea}

{enchilada casserole}

{Ina Garten's spaghetti aglio e olio}

another weekend with Him

2011-10-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Murrieta, Hot Springs

I've been really reflecting on this past weekend and the wonderful words that each speaker had to impart to us, and all the love I felt for and from my sisters in Christ. I've never been to a women's retreat before. The church I grew up in wasn't exactly the kind of environment I felt safe in to spend a whole weekend doing the women's retreat thing. Also, I found that a lot of the women's activities were too cheesy and too cornball for me, so I just never went. The reasons I decided to go this time around is because I love my church. I love the women I have come to know in my church. And since David and I have only been going here for two years or so, I want to get to know more women.

I signed up only because I knew that one friend was going and I knew that in order for me to go I needed to know at least one person. Thankfully almost all of the ladies from Fusion ended up going and though they are not the sole reason why I had such a wonderful weekend, I am so thankful each and every one of them were there.

The speakers were incredible. Every one of them chose topics that not only correlated with one another (they must have gotten together to discuss their topics beforehand), but they were all so unique and brought something new and special to the table. It's difficult for me to choose just one message that stood out to me because they all spoke to my heart in tremendous ways and I know that I was meant to be there. All of us who went, it seemed, were meant to be there.

Each message was generously sprinkled with verses that gave me such an overwhelming sense of peace and hope for what the Lord is working so carefully and so thoroughly in my heart and in my life right now.

Regarding the thorns in our flesh, those patterns of behavior that we often think keep us from living out His word and His glory. We were so lovingly reminded that though we may plead with the Lord to remove them, He gave them to us in order to fulfill His purpose for our lives, in order for His power to be made perfect in our weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Ezekiel 36:26

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

And the subject which weighs so heavily on my heart, the subject of self worth, of our role in life, of what our purpose is, of what and who we are supposed to be.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Philippians 2:13
For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

It's funny to me because that last verse, Jeremiah 29:11, was our "Senior Class Verse" in high school. Back then it meant less to me because at the time I was planning a future for myself. Now here I am, 10 years later and this verse means so much more to me. I find myself in a confusing transition. The plans I had made for myself never panned out. The older I got the less I knew exactly what I wanted and now I find myself lost, not knowing at all what I was made for, what my purpose in life is, where He wants me to go, who He wants me to be, who He created me to be.
There is a saying I've heard many times that goes something like this: "You want to make God laugh? Make plans."

The biggest lesson I learned this weekend was to wait on Him. To have patience, a virtue I was not blessed with. To be confident in knowing that He has a perfect plan for my life. He has a future lined up for me that is better than any plan I could have summoned up and it's already in the works, whether I choose to realize it or not. I may not have any clue what it is and that may drive me crazy, but I can't dwell on it. I need to let Him take me there. I need to give it to Him and wait on Him to fulfill His promise to me; to give me a future and a hope.

I also was humbled by the worship. I am weird about Christian music and modern worship songs. which I briefly talked about in this post. They tend to not speak to me, maybe because I don't let them. I generally prefer hymns, probably because they remind me of my grandparents. I may also have an issue with contemporary worship music because of the church I grew up in. I NEVER connected to it there. It didn't feel authentic or genuine to me.
So as I sat down next to one of my friends for the first message and realized that we'd be worshiping (hello, Andrea, why wouldn't we be?), I kind of grumbled to her telling her how much I feel I can't relate to it and though she agreed and though I felt less alone about my problem, God worked on my heart. By the end of the weekend the music became a necessity for me. I needed to sing those songs. One song in particular touched my heart like no other worship song has ever done for me. It could be the words, or the melody, or the combination of the two... or it could have been that God had softened my heart of stone to be able to receive it. But I couldn't hear it and not sing it.

How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree bending beneath
The weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us
How He loves us so

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth
Like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently
Inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way that

He loves us

Oh how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us
How He loves us so
~ John Mark McMillan

Needless to say, the next time there is a women's retreat, I am signing up right away.

tunes tuesday - the national

2011-10-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

The National

{image source}

There are few bands out there who can make albums so wonderful and so near perfect that you don't even notice the songs ending and beginning. It's as if the album is a great fashion show. Every piece that walks down that runway is it's own masterpiece, but the collection is so cohesive you can't decide which one you like the best; you just want the entire collection in your closet. Each song sinks inside you and settles there and you can't get enough. Though this album is simple, it's effortless. You don't even notice all the intricate, amazing work that went into it unless you close your eyes and really pay attention. It's almost like a score in that you don't notice it moving you until you're so moved it shocks you.

This album reminds me of Paris. This album reminds me of David. This album reminds me that there are still incredible, inspired, talented artists out there who make music today and that I shouldn't lose my faith in music.

The National is just so good.

They have other really fantastic albums, but this one is my favorite.

Slow Show is my favorite song on this album.

insta friday

2011-10-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

iPhone photos from this week

{this is a photo of a photo. I made this dinner, but used the cookbook picture instead because I forgot to snap a photo before we ate}

Also, I will be leaving today with some awesome ladies/friends from church on a women's retreat in Murrieta at some fancy hot springs place. STOKED!

What are YOU doing this weekend?

See you all on Monday!

films friday

2011-10-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Clueless

If you haven't seen Clueless, then...ugh, I don't even know what to say. It's a 90's classic.

I blame this film for my gross overuse of the word "like". I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I actually grew up in Southern California, but there is no doubt in my mind that as a 12 year old loving this film, "like" became a staple of my vocabulary and though it has gotten a lot better over the years, and no matter how hard I've tried to cease and desist, it's still there. Even David says "like" a lot. We don't even notice it.

What I find so hilarious about this film watching it now as opposed to 16 years ago (woah, SIXTEEN years???) is how much of it doesn't even seem as funny anymore because the absurdism of these teenagers' lives is actually the present day norm. For example, Cher and Dionne are talking to each other on cell phones in the halls of their high school when they end up in the same frame on screen, then they hang up. In 1995 that was totally not normal. Today? Totally normal. I mean, in 1995 cell phones were still sort of new. By "new" I mean that not every single person in America had one.

This film isn't an award winner, it's not a film that really made you contemplate life, although I do think there are some pretty interesting social commentaries beneath the surface. It's just a funny movie you watch over and over again because it's a classic and every girl watching this movie in jr. high and high school wanted to be Cher.

What is your favorite scene and/or quote from Clueless?

a game

2011-10-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am fully aware that this may only be funny to Anthony, Chanell, David and myself, but here is a little movie I made of a snippet of time spent at the Lawrence Welk Resort a few weekends ago.

The very end is my favorite part.

it's the little things

2011-10-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

today i am beginning a journey of trying to be more present and not focusing so much on the past or the future.

i think i'll begin by finding the joy in the little things:

~fresh apples and natural peanut butter

~waking up to the sounds of falling rain outside my window
~noticing the beauty in the ordinary

~David coming home to me with a cup of hot apple cider, my favorite cold weather treat
~making pizza dough from scratch

...it's the little things.

what are you noticing and feeling more present in the moment in?

tunes tuesday

2011-10-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

Azure Ray

This week's tunes tuesday installment features one of my favorite bands, Azure Ray. I woke up this morning and heard the rain outside my window and immediately wanted to listen to Azure Ray.

Maria Taylor and Orenda Fink create such a pretty balance of electronic beats and soft instruments and they're voices together are so dreamy and angelic. The lyrics tend to be mournful and powerful, but very relatable. I definitely always listen to them when I'm in a creative and peaceful mood.

I hope you enjoy.

Dub Dub Weigh In

2011-10-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

{Week Twenty Two}

+2.2 lbs

Change since week one: +1.2 lbs

Change since 2006: -28.8 lbs

WW changed their website to automatically update your weight when you weigh in, which I'm not too happy about because I like seeing the pop up that tells you how much you lost or gained and says "You've lost this week!" or "You gained a bit this week". So this means that the tracking on here will change visually :(

Well I finally went back to Weight Watchers after a month long hiatus.

The first week I skipped, if you remember, because I just needed a break from the scale and the pressure and the stress that I was putting on myself to perform and lose. The next week I was at Lawrence Welk. The third week I was exhausted and I had to get ready for Blog Sugar so I skipped because I didn't want to drive all the way out there (Long Beach) only to drive back home to get ready, then drive in the same direction again to attend Blog Sugar.

For being gone for three weigh ins, going out of town twice in those three weeks (and if you've been reading my WW journey you'll know how difficult going out of town is for me when it comes to tracking and staying on program and I always gain a stupid amount of weight no matter how great I think I did), and for not really tracking much at all in those three weeks I'd say I didn't do too bad. I could have gone crazy and gained 5-10 lbs. It has happened before, unfortunately. But I didn't, which is awesome.

I went to weigh in last Sunday really dreading it, convinced that I had gained at least five pounds and feeling so anxious to just get it over with and try to get back on track so I can lose this weight I keep gaining. I stepped on the scale and the lady gave me a look of pity (I really hate when they do that, or when they seem judgement, which they're not supposed to and they usually don't), and that's when I knew it. I knew I was right. I knew that I had gained a stupid amount of weight and not only do I have to start all over again, I have to take a bunch of steps backwards...

But then she said, "You're up 2.2 lbs" and I nearly cheered. Instead I just said, "Wow, that's better than I thought!"

I don't think I've ever been so okay with gaining 2.2 lbs. EVER. I mean, I was gone for three weeks, didn't track my points, didn't really exercise much, ate out more than usual and I only gained 2 pounds. I realize that in those three weeks I could have lost up to 6 pounds, but I'm not going to stress out about it because that will only keep me where I am right now and won't help me lose the weight.

I'm still really disappointed in myself that it's been over a year and I keep yo-yoing these 10 pounds, but I can't let myself get discouraged or I'll just give up.

I have some pretty big weight loss goals and it's just about time that I get them accomplished. I started a combination of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and Banish Fat Boost Metabolism. I'm not going to go crazy and do it every single day like I did the Shred in August/September, but I'm going to do it at least 4 times a week, I'm getting back on tracking and I'm just ready to finally lose this weight. I realize that the holidays are swiftly approaching and this coming season is my favorite of all in terms of weather, food, holidays, clothes, etc., but I've lost weight during the holidays before and I think I can do it again... or at least maintain, which is always better than gaining.

I'll be on a women's retreat with my church this weekend, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to weigh in. I'd like to find a WW location where we will be so that no matter what I eat while we're at the retreat (we're not allowed to bring our own food so I have no idea what I'm going to be dealing with... awesome, right? I hate not being in control, food wise... or other wise, haha) I'll still be able to be accountable. We'll see how it works out.

So wish me luck for this week which might be a struggle and for this journey that it can get back on track for good. Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement. It really means a lot to me and helps me feel like I can do it and I'm not alone <3