Saturday, January 23, 2010

Showered

Tomorrow is my Bridal Shower. I have some pretty mixed feelings, mostly good, about it.


I am very excited, but in a calm way. I'm surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing. Normally I would be freaking out and worrying about every detail and I would probably have a lot of trouble falling asleep. I think maybe since I'm not planning it, and since all I have to do is dress up and show up, maybe I just feel at ease in that sense.


I do feel nervous about being the center of attention. I have a hard time being comfortable with all eyes on me, but at the same time I get irritated when I witness other people trying (most of the time struggling) to get attention, to have all eyes on them. Maybe it's because I just can't possibly understand why anyone would want to dance the "look at me! look at me!" dance. It seems like a very selfish thing, to struggle for attention and admiration.


But I digress...


I sometimes (well, usually) get overwhelmed when there are a lot of people celebrating something that is centered entirely on me. I almost feel guilty, like I shouldn't be the only person in a crowd being celebrated.


I don't know. I'm just struggling with these emotions because I have to remind myself that for most brides, this comes only once in their life. I need to say to myself, "Andrea, enjoy this. Remember it, because it's never gonna happen again."


I don't want to regret the day because I focused on the negative things like my fear of attention and my anxiety. I want to just be happy. Just happy.


I am marrying a man who loves me, without a doubt, and who makes me happy. I want to celebrate that.


Oh boy. If I feel like this now, how in the world am I gonna feel on the night before my wedding day? Haha!

7 comments:

Chelsea, Tea Talk said...

Sending well wishes to you on your bridal shower day! Hope you have the best time! :]

<3 Chelsea

marisa said...

Can't wait, can't wait!

There are so many people there who love you and want to celebrate you and Dave being together! Hope you can truly enjoy :)

See you soon <33

Sarah Frills4Thrills said...

you're gonna have a great time! i was nervous too, but it's really not so bad! Enjoy!

Unknown said...

Thank you all for your supportive and encouraging words! The day turned out to be FABULOUS.

More detailed post pending...

<3<3<3<3<3

Unknown said...

I felt the same way at my showers! It's weird, and very surreal! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! :)

Gray Skies said...

I felt kind of awkward at my bridal showers, too. I'm not at all a shy person, but sitting in front of a room full of women, all of whom were avidly watching me open presents, was a bit stressful.

Unknown said...

mandiegirl and I am Stacey: It's so good to know I'm not alone on this!! Thanks girls!!