this year

we saw Bob Dylan and i saw Sigur Rós live

we traveled to Washington D.C. and Sedona

sold our condo in Carson 

moved in with my mom

lived out of boxes for over half the year

we finally found a home we will be moving into soon (more on that later).

 

i started working at anthropologie again

founded a fantastic book club

read over 20 books this year alone

wrote my first ten minute play

began writing my first full length play

wrote my first two short stories

acted in a wonderful play alongside a few favorites

saw amazing performances and worked with talented people

and i took up jogging which has taught me to breathe, to look up, and to notice. it has inspired much of my writing.

i spent the entire year in a recovery program (i don't think i've mention this here) 

met amazing people

learned more about myself in the last year than in the last 29 years

forgiven and been forgiven

am learning to accept what sometimes feels unacceptable and intolerable

loved more and let myself receive more love

i've learned how to let go and how to surrender.

and i've watched David grow even more into a man

observing his patience and feeling his support in the pain and the joy of my own growth.

for both of us, i think, this year has just felt like a year for growth and change

we are reaching and climbing toward bigger things

but trying to love the little moments that sometimes get lost in between.

here's to a new year, whatever it may bring.

"It was late afternoon 

and the sun had just begun to cast golden flickers of bright light across the tops of the shop windows 

and buildings on the busy street, 

and a faintly icy breeze swirled the dust and dead leaves near his feet in a lazy tornado."

- excerpt from my short story, The Chase

yes, i am still alive.

it occurred to me recently, when four separate friends asked me when i was gonna blog again, that i actually have people out there paying attention. so here i am, i'm back.

i literally just now said goodbye to David, waving him off to the airport for a two week business trip. i'm gonna miss that guy. usually when he goes away on business trips it takes me a day or two to start to really miss him because i'm the type of person who craves alone time and can entertain myself very easily (and, if i'm being honest, it's easy for me to push away those unwanted feelings)... but as soon as i shut the door that empty feeling hit me... he's going to be gone for two weeks and it's going to be hard. i can still smell him in my hair. 

saying goodbye

now, i've got a lot going on. today is one of four days in July i can consider a day off. other than those four days every single day this month has a schedule. i'm beginning rehearsals for my new play tomorrow. it's an original comedy written by one of my favorite college professors, Warren "Sir" Doody. "Sir" refers to a nickname i gave him in class one day. it was a you-had-to-be-there moment, so i won't go into details. i'm playing a woman named Bonnie who is the female lead and it's a hilarious play. we had our table read on Wednesday and i couldn't even get some of my lines out straight because i was laughing so hard. i am thrilled to be in a comedy for the first time in years. the play is called Enlightenment.com and opens on July 27th. if you're interested in hearing more, please let me know and i will send you ticket info.

i'm also going to San Francisco next weekend for Stella & Dot's annual convention (i'm an independent stylist with S&D) and i'm really looking forward to that.

this is nuts.

but i am going to do what i can to blog. i'm even going to attempt a few "what i wore" posts. and i'll be making some more mixes in the near future that i'm already excited about.

even with my busy schedule i think not having husband around will free me up to focus extra energy here, but...

i miss him already.

drought (and a fresh new look)

{image source}

it may seem as though i have fallen off the face of the earth.

or that i don't care.

or that i have given up.

or that i'm just too busy to put in the time and effort it takes to keep a blog running.

and read other blogs.

i'm going to be completely honest here.

for a while i didn't care.

i did give up (almost).

i have been extremely busy.

i haven't read any blogs. at all.

i passed up opportunities to be featured on some really great blogs.

i passed up many opportunities to write what's going on in my head and in my heart.

i literally avoided even looking at my computer.

for the past couple of months i have been busy rehearsing for the play i associate directed at VUSC and supporting the cast and crew by seeing as many performances as i could.

i have been so busy that i only just began my Christmas shopping (two down, i don't even want to think about how many more to go).

i haven't even thought about sending out Christmas cards.

i only recently decorated my house for the holidays.

i have been doing well at WW, as far as i know.

i have spent all of my free time with David (the hubs), Bogart (the kitteh) and with Lisbeth Salander (those books are crazy good).

and some time with the Bard (Shakespeare, that is).

i have been working on some monologues, doing as much as i can in a short period of time and too little hours in the day to prepare for grad school applications/auditions.

i have been thinking a lot about the play that i am going to start writing this year with the help of one of my favorite college professors, Warren "Sir" Doody (the "Sir" is an inside joke, sorry to be so elitist).

i have been asked by my mentor, head of the theatre department at VUSC, and founder of American Coast Theater Co., Sue Berkompas, to play the lead in one of ACTC's summer 2012 plays, which just so happens to be written by Sir Doody himself (i'm a lucky gal these days).

all of that to say, i've been busy. 

i've put he calls me wifey on the back burner.

i got lazy.

i hope you all can understand.

but being busy wasn't the only thing keeping me away.

i've written drafts of the reason(s) why, but never had the nerve to hit publish.

maybe this season i will.

but not today.

so to hopefully kick start my blogging again, i have refurbished the place. 

i've spruced it up a bit to help me get back into the swing of things, to cease this drought.

i needed a fresh start.

i needed a new look.

i hope you like the new look of this space.

Ladies' Night, The Hiding Place, and Hunger Games

I'm just gonna start off by saying I am exhaaaaaaaaaaaaaausted. I am so freaking tired. If I laid down on the couch, or heck even the floor, right now, I'd fall asleep.

But I cannot sleep. I had a pretty full day already (and that's not even why I'm tired) and I still have to pack because tomorrow David and I are flying to New York for a few days (For business. His and my mom's, not mine. I just get to enjoy the city). 

I know, I know I'm a pretty lucky lady. Traveling is one of my dear loves and true pleasures in life. I never get tired of it, even if it's to a place I've already been before.

I could have packed yesterday, but I did a lot of random things before going out to ladies' night at Lauren's house with one of her neighbors and Kacie. It was a fun night, but I accidentally had too many cocktails and even though I was definitely sober by the time I left, I woke up feeling like crap. I mean, I only had three and had three slices of homemade pizza, but since I don't drink all that often, when I do it really effects me the next day.

{My ladies' night outfit}

Dress: F21

Belt: Anthropologie

Jacket: Urban Outfitters

Monogram pin: Urban Outfitters

Watch: Marc by Marc Jacobs 

Leggings: Target

Boots: Marc by Marc Jacobs

{"D" is for David <3}

And today I went to the second audition of the The Hiding Place, the play I am assistant directing in June. I haven't mentioned it on the blog until now because I guess I just thought I should wait until everyone was cast and I knew where we stood and what our roles on and off stage would look like. I am also cast to play two different characters. The play has a HUGE cast that we've trimmed down to about 35 characters with 23 actors, many of them taking on multiple roles and learning different dialects. I'm really excited about it, especially now that we have our actors and things seem to be coming together more smoothly. It will be something that I'll be really immersed in for about two months so I'm sure I'll probably be blogging about it a lot (or not blogging at all, HA HA!). We'll see. This is the first show I've been involved with in over two years, maybe even three, and I'm really looking forward to jumping right back into it. I've missed the theatre so much and I know that when rehearsals start I will really realize that I missed it more than I thought I had.

{Source}

I also stopped by Target on my way home to pick up the second of the Hunger Games trilogy. I started reading it the other night and I had planned to read it on the plane to and from New York, but I'm almost finished with it! I was able to have a few hours on Thursday to do nothing so I just read it and kinda plowed through it, so if I don't finish it tonight due to packing or sleep or whatever, I'll finish it on the flight and start the second book as well. I can't wait!!

I hope you all have a wonderful week ahead of you. I'll catch up on it all when we get back from Manhattan <3