Monday, March 14, 2011

365

Yesterday David and I celebrated one year of marriage together. We spent the weekend at the Millenium Biltmore Hotel where we got married and it was magical.

I was flooded with so many emotions just reliving the best day of our lives and reflecting on the last year.

I couldn't help but feel immensely bittersweet thinking of all the memories and how that really was the best party we ever went to, that it was gorgeous, full of love and perfect. I hear so many women tell me how much they hated their wedding day or regret this or that or how it just wasn't what they envisioned. When I hear that my heart hurts for these women I feel a tinge of guilt, but I feel thankful because (other than a small snafu here and there) my wedding day was absolutely perfect.

Side note: I was also incredibly sad for my dear, dear Mark, who past away only 6 months after the wedding. He was my mom's oldest and dearest friend and he and his genius made my wedding all that I wanted and more. I love and miss him dearly. Everywhere I turned this weekend, he was there. At one point I even started crying while I was jogging on the treadmill thinking of him. I knew he wouldn't want me to be sad, so I tried my best, but it wasn't easy.

There, of course, were a few things I wish I would have done different (like send someone upstairs to my room to get the Chanel necklace David gave me as my wedding gift to wear at the reception, or not miss my mom's speech while we were taking photo booth pictures, or that someone would have stopped my jeweler from grabbing the mic and making a really LONG and distasteful joke), but overall I have no regrets.

But those are little things and even the day itself does not define me or my marriage.

I found a boy who has become such a beautiful and amazing man that I love more than I've ever loved anyone else on earth. He is my best friend, the love of my life and more than I deserve.

The Lord truly answered my prayers and blessed me with so much love.
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