Saturday, May 28, 2011

a Thumper state of mind

I was going to just leave this alone and move on, but I thought about it and I want to do the right thing and squash it...

Well, I got my first cruel comment on blogger today regarding my previous post about introverts. It was very snarky and rude and unnecessary. It was also anonymous, of course.

It took me two times to read it because at first I wasn't sure what it was referring to and I wasn't expecting it. Then when I realized what it was about I read it once again to make sure I read it right the first time.

You know that feeling you get when someone says something mean to you or criticizes you and you get that nervous, shaky, fast heart beat thing going? Well I didn't get that. I kind of just felt sorry for the person who wrote it... then I immediately thought of the few people I've known in life who might have actually written it... which then made me realize (thanks to David) that anyone who really knows the real me could not have written those words and would know that I am not the person that the commentator was implying that I am (full of myself, conceited, etc). 

On the contrary, I am actually very hard on myself and always try to make sure that I don't let anything get to my head. I'm always the first to discount myself, focus on my faults and every negative thing about me or put myself down or never take a compliment seriously. I would much rather have low self-esteem than to be arrogant or prideful. 

Also, I would NEVER leave a nasty comment on someone's blog, especially anonymously (nothing is easier than hiding behind a computer screen). I could continue to speculate about who it is, but does it matter? Nope.

Then, thanks to David again, I thought about what could have brought on such a mean comment, so I re-read what the post said, with a more open mind and I realized this: yes, some of the things that the person who wrote those "Myths" said, whoever they are, could be considered offensive. Especially to an extrovert.

So in all sincerity: if you, the anonymous one, are reading this, I apologize if I have unintentionally offended you. My guess is that this is not the first time I have done so. 

If I know you in person or if we were once friends, why are you still worried about me? I can certainly guarantee you, I'm not worried about you. The only person you're hurting by holding onto this grudge against me, is you. Let it go. Not for my sake, but for yours.

If I've never met you before, well then I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or if you took offense to something I simply copy and pasted from someone else's blog.

Where do nasty words get you? They make you feel better about yourself for the moment, but it is a seed of darkness that grows and grows and you can't control it and it just ends up killing your own spirit.

I'm not claiming all innocence here. I've said nasty things before. I don't know one person who hasn't. But at this point in my life I am actively trying to avoid those kinds of things. I don't always succeed, but at least now I am trying.

Also, I try to stray far away from pointing the finger or being self-righteous by throwing a Bible verse out there to try to take the speck out of your eye when there's a plank in my own, but this verse came to mind and I hope you take it in a loving way and not in an offensive way.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen...
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