Saturday, May 28, 2011

a Thumper state of mind

I was going to just leave this alone and move on, but I thought about it and I want to do the right thing and squash it...


Well, I got my first cruel comment on blogger today regarding my previous post about introverts. It was very snarky and rude and unnecessary. It was also anonymous, of course.

It took me two times to read it because at first I wasn't sure what it was referring to and I wasn't expecting it. Then when I realized what it was about I read it once again to make sure I read it right the first time.

You know that feeling you get when someone says something mean to you or criticizes you and you get that nervous, shaky, fast heart beat thing going? Well I didn't get that. I kind of just felt sorry for the person who wrote it... then I immediately thought of the few people I've known in life who might have actually written it... which then made me realize (thanks to David) that anyone who really knows the real me could not have written those words and would know that I am not the person that the commentator was implying that I am (full of myself, conceited, etc). 

On the contrary, I am actually very hard on myself and always try to make sure that I don't let anything get to my head. I'm always the first to discount myself, focus on my faults and every negative thing about me or put myself down or never take a compliment seriously. I would much rather have low self-esteem than to be arrogant or prideful. 

Also, I would NEVER leave a nasty comment on someone's blog, especially anonymously (nothing is easier than hiding behind a computer screen). I could continue to speculate about who it is, but does it matter? Nope.

Then, thanks to David again, I thought about what could have brought on such a mean comment, so I re-read what the post said, with a more open mind and I realized this: yes, some of the things that the person who wrote those "Myths" said, whoever they are, could be considered offensive. Especially to an extrovert.

So in all sincerity: if you, the anonymous one, are reading this, I apologize if I have unintentionally offended you. My guess is that this is not the first time I have done so. 

If I know you in person or if we were once friends, why are you still worried about me? I can certainly guarantee you, I'm not worried about you. The only person you're hurting by holding onto this grudge against me, is you. Let it go. Not for my sake, but for yours.

If I've never met you before, well then I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or if you took offense to something I simply copy and pasted from someone else's blog.

Where do nasty words get you? They make you feel better about yourself for the moment, but it is a seed of darkness that grows and grows and you can't control it and it just ends up killing your own spirit.

I'm not claiming all innocence here. I've said nasty things before. I don't know one person who hasn't. But at this point in my life I am actively trying to avoid those kinds of things. I don't always succeed, but at least now I am trying.

Also, I try to stray far away from pointing the finger or being self-righteous by throwing a Bible verse out there to try to take the speck out of your eye when there's a plank in my own, but this verse came to mind and I hope you take it in a loving way and not in an offensive way.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen...

15 comments:

Kacie said...

I have no clue why people feel the need to spew crulty and meanness in this world. Especially in a place where there is goodness abounding (your blog).
The person who sent you that is out of line.
But good job for handling it so well and not letting it affect your blogging!

Unknown said...

Thanks Kacie! Yeah, I mean when I copy and pasted that to my blog I was kind of just saying, "See, we're not all weirdos and freakazoids. We like people, too" and I didn't really read into all of the little things that some people might find offensive, but what can you do, right?

I just hope that whoever wrote that will understand that I am being sincere in this post.

When I was working at Anthro I had a few experiences with customers that would attack me, were cruel and mean and really walked all over me (because they could and they knew I wouldn't react or put them in their place for fear of losing my job) and I didn't understand why. Finally I decided that I would pray for those people (not to say this in a pompous way, I genuinely prayed for them in a loving manner) because I realized that ultimately whatever brought them to the place of cruelty and hatred had nothing to do with me. They just needed a platform to get all of their hurt and anger out and I was there for the picking.

I think that that is similar to what's going on here. I just hope whatever hate that is in this person's heart is eventually healed and they can come to a place of love and kindness and understanding.

Diana Smith said...

Thats why I took anonymous comments off my blog because I know my real friends won't say mean things. That person is a wuss and you probably might not even know who they are! You are the better person and they can just hide creepily behind their computer being jealous of other people!

Unknown said...

@Diana, hahaha yup. I disabled the anonymous comments as well. The only reason I hadn't before is because my dear friend Amara comments anonymously, because she doesn't have a blog. I might let her know to just sign into her google account to leave a comment from now on.

Denise said...

heyy don't let mean comments get you down ok? sometimes i also find it hard because i'm not intending to be mean but people totally misinterpret what im saying... i guess the computer screen is not the best medium of communication... but yes with wisdom and God's grace we can still use it for his glory. press on sister!x

Lacey said...

They were probably hurting, I'm glad you didn't let it get you down. I love your blog btw :)

makesmenblush11.blogspot.com

Tang said...

I agree! There is no reason to leave cruel or mean comments on someone's blog, esp when you never wrote or posted anything cruel or hateful in the first place. There is a difference between defending and standing up for something when you disagree and blatantly being cruel.

I'm definitely an introvert too!

Unknown said...

@Denise, I totally understand what you're saying and I too can sometimes come across as mean when I have no intention of it, but this particular comment was very specific in it's nastiness and cruelty. It was heartless and very obviously from someone who dislikes me very much. I really didn't need to read too much into it because it was very blunt and mean, which is why I deleted it.

@Lacey, Thanks new friend!! <3

@Tang, Here Here!! You said it, sister!

Liesl said...

I am so sorry to hear about the rude comment that was left, but I know the EXACT feeling your were referring to above...you said it perfectly! I get that way to and I know I shouldn't or I shouldn't let it bother me because it is usually something the person who wrote it feels not so great about within themselves and yes, of course they are anonymous...almost always are!

That said, I agree with your hubby and even though I don't know you personally, I have gotten through your blog and our little blogland friendship that you are a wonderful person and what he said is exactly right!

Thought I would send you a few extra smiles and thanks so much for openly sharing your thoughts!

Off to catch up on the blog post that prompted this post and I hope you are having a lovely Memorial Day weekend so far!

Liesl :)

Liesl said...

P.S. No wonder I am no longer getting updates on you and am now realizing how FAR behind I am on your blog...glad I went to it on my own anyway to check...I am somehow no longer following you?!? What...Oh Google Friend Connect and all the recent Blogger problems...I have now taken care of that! Oh my! :)

Megane said...

well done..

Unknown said...

@Liesl, thanks for your kind words sweetheart. you are so wonderful and so sweet. I think it's so weird what's happening with google reader or blogspot or whatever because I feel like I might have been not getting some updates from some of my reads too. I better double check and make sure!

@Megane <3

Bean said...

That is low.

Chrissy said...

i discovered your blog via 'tart' and am happy to be a new follower. yeah!

xoxo
http://tinylittlehappies.blogspot.com/

Unknown said...

thanks Chrissy!! <3