Monday, October 3, 2011

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Twenty Two}

+2.2 lbs
Change since week one: +1.2 lbs
Change since 2006: -28.8 lbs

WW changed their website to automatically update your weight when you weigh in, which I'm not too happy about because I like seeing the pop up that tells you how much you lost or gained and says "You've lost this week!" or "You gained a bit this week". So this means that the tracking on here will change visually :(

Well I finally went back to Weight Watchers after a month long hiatus.
The first week I skipped, if you remember, because I just needed a break from the scale and the pressure and the stress that I was putting on myself to perform and lose. The next week I was at Lawrence Welk. The third week I was exhausted and I had to get ready for Blog Sugar so I skipped because I didn't want to drive all the way out there (Long Beach) only to drive back home to get ready, then drive in the same direction again to attend Blog Sugar.

For being gone for three weigh ins, going out of town twice in those three weeks (and if you've been reading my WW journey you'll know how difficult going out of town is for me when it comes to tracking and staying on program and I always gain a stupid amount of weight no matter how great I think I did), and for not really tracking much at all in those three weeks I'd say I didn't do too bad. I could have gone crazy and gained 5-10 lbs. It has happened before, unfortunately. But I didn't, which is awesome. 

I went to weigh in last Sunday really dreading it, convinced that I had gained at least five pounds and feeling so anxious to just get it over with and try to get back on track so I can lose this weight I keep gaining. I stepped on the scale and the lady gave me a look of pity (I really hate when they do that, or when they seem judgement, which they're not supposed to and they usually don't), and that's when I knew it. I knew I was right. I knew that I had gained a stupid amount of weight and not only do I have to start all over again, I have to take a bunch of steps backwards...

But then she said, "You're up 2.2 lbs" and I nearly cheered. Instead I just said, "Wow, that's better than I thought!"

I don't think I've ever been so okay with gaining 2.2 lbs. EVER. I mean, I was gone for three weeks, didn't track my points, didn't really exercise much, ate out more than usual and I only gained 2 pounds. I realize that in those three weeks I could have lost up to 6 pounds, but I'm not going to stress out about it because that will only keep me where I am right now and won't help me lose the weight.

I'm still really disappointed in myself that it's been over a year and I keep yo-yoing these 10 pounds, but I can't let myself get discouraged or I'll just give up.

I have some pretty big weight loss goals and it's just about time that I get them accomplished. I started a combination of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and Banish Fat Boost Metabolism. I'm not going to go crazy and do it every single day like I did the Shred in August/September, but I'm going to do it at least 4 times a week, I'm getting back on tracking and I'm just ready to finally lose this weight. I realize that the holidays are swiftly approaching and this coming season is my favorite of all in terms of weather, food, holidays, clothes, etc., but I've lost weight during the holidays before and I think I can do it again... or at least maintain, which is always better than gaining. 

I'll be on a women's retreat with my church this weekend, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to weigh in. I'd like to find a WW location where we will be so that no matter what I eat while we're at the retreat (we're not allowed to bring our own food so I have no idea what I'm going to be dealing with... awesome, right? I hate not being in control, food wise... or other wise, haha) I'll still be able to be accountable. We'll see how it works out.

So wish me luck for this week which might be a struggle and for this journey that it can get back on track for good. Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement. It really means a lot to me and helps me feel like I can do it and I'm not alone <3
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