Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Eleven}

- 3 lbs

Change since week one: - 8.2 lbs

Change since 2006 38.2 lbs

How in the world did I lose THREE POUNDS in one week?!? I can't believe it, but I am STOKED. 

I worked hard this week, but I definitely didn't expect to lose 3 pounds. 

This week is going to be really challenging because it's my birthday week...

Yesterday Dave and I had an all day outing that included gelato, a cupcake and a carb filled dinner.

This Tuesday is my actual birthday so I will be celebrating with a Red Velvet Cupcake from Bake 'n' Broil... but I'm pretty sure I used up all of my extra 49 points for the week, so I'm expecting this week to be a challenge not to exceed my daily points target.

Wish me luck everyone, I don't wanna gain back any of those three pounds!

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Eight}

+ 1 lb

Change since week one: - 5.2 lbs

Change since 2006: - 35.2 lbs

So I gained one pound this week... and I'm totally okay with it.

I had a stressful week and I didn't really track much, so I expected a gain. I think sometimes we need to just allow ourselves a break when things get crazy, but the important thing to do is get right back on track, and that's exactly what I'm doing this week.

My goal for this week is really simple: track every BLT (bite lick taste).

This is my "eh, whatevs" face.

Wish me luck with my tracking this week!

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Seven}

- 1.6 lbs

Change since week one: - 6.2 lbs

Change since 2006: - 36.2 lbs

This is crazy people. I lost during the Christmas holiday.

Actually, I kinda cheated. I ate like crazy on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and Christmas evening... but by the time we got home the flu I hadn't realized I caught sometime while I was stuffing my face reared it's extremely ugly head.

I won't gross you out with the details, but it was literally the worst flu of my life. I don't think I've ever been so violently sick... EVER. It was so bad that at 3am on Dec. 26th, I was dry heaving because I had completely emptied my body of every little thing I ate the previous 24 hours. 

We got home after our Christmas festivities and bundled up to watch a movie even though my stomach wasn't feeling all that great and within an hour of being home I was spending every 20 minutes in the bathroom. I knew when I was gonna be sick because I'd start to sweat bullets and get extremely dizzy and more nauseated than a person should ever be. I'd run to the bathroom and within a minute of walking out of the bathroom I would get the chills for 10-15 minutes, wrap myself in blankets like an Eskimo, and then it would start all over again. It was awful.

Five members of my family, including myself, got the flu. We all just passed it around. I don't know how some people managed to dodge it, including Dave. He never gets sick, he just watches me moan and sweat and get the chills. I'm the one with the poor immune system who catches everything and yet refuses to get any vaccinations (makes total sense, right?).

Thankfully it was only a 24 hour bug and I felt much better by the 27th, even though I still don't have a full appetite and every time I eat dinner (which is usually my largest meal), I start to feel a little sick again. Oh well, I'm still alive and that's all that matters!

So that's why I lost during the Christmas holiday, it had nothing to do with any willpower of my own, though I wish it had.

This week my goals are to start exercising again (I stopped for a few weeks) and I think I'll start with Pilates and/or Yoga... wish me luck this week! :)

Thumbs down for being sick. Thumbs up for losing weight during Christmas

crazy christmas

I can't believe it's almost Christmas. I'M NOT READY!
I haven't had the time to Christmas shop. I'm supposed to go over to Lauren's house to wrap presents with her tomorrow, but I have no presents to wrap yet.

I've just been so busy that I haven't had the time to shop AND I'm avoiding crowds like the plague. I hate crowds. I feel like that big guy in that Christmas commercial who's shopping with his mom at a crowded store and someone bumps into him when his mom says, "Let it go!" and he yells, "But everyone's bumping into me!!!" - that guy is totally me. I tried looking up that commercial on youtube but apparently it's not there. I laugh every time it's on tv.

This past weekend I basically moved all of my Christmas decorations over to our church to decorate for the Christmas party. It was an 8 hour day (thanks to Chanell, Lauren and Noel for all your help!) and then after the party was done we took it all down. On Sunday I redecorated my house. Oh and did I mention that I baked apple pie (which won the bake off in it's category!), jam crumb bars and chocolate cupcakes with buttercream frosting for the party? Yup.

Oh and I also memorized a monologue from Twelfth Night...
and worked on the dialect for my second monologue. If you don't get the famous deep southern drawl right for a Tennessee Williams play (in this case Summer and Smoke), then it's useless to even do the monologue at all. I've spent hours on both monologues. By the end of today I'll have spent close to 5 hours since this morning on them both. I have no idea how many hours I put into it this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going over to Sue's house so she can coach me on the monologues and I have to say I'm pretty nervous. I've worked with Sue many times, but the thought of anyone coaching me on audition pieces scares the crap out of me. I hate auditions (let's face it, who doesn't?). I really don't know how I've gotten any roles because I'm so bad at them... oh wait, I know why. Because most of the plays I've been cast in were only because the director knew he/she would cast me anyway, so it didn't matter if my monologue sucked or if I even delivered one. In fact, for my audition piece that was to get the part of my favorite character to date, I completely blanked half way into it. I just stared into space, then said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember a thing." and then the director said, "I'll see you at callbacks." I only got that part because of my appearance at the time and because the director (Sue) knew what I was capable of and that I could play that part. Thank God or I would have been so sad to not get that role.

But I digress.

I know the Twelfth Night monologue. I have it word perfect, but I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that tomorrow when Sue starts working with me on it I'm going to totally blank. I don't know what happens to me, I just freeze up. Auditioning is this weird thing that (I personally feel) does, in no way, show a director or casting agent what I'm capable of. Get me into the rehearsal process, give me direction and a little time to do my research and I'm good to go, but throw me in a room with a panel of people staring at me and I crumble.

This is the sole reason why I chickened out last year and didn't do any of my grad school applications and auditions. I told myself I wasn't ready, but really it was because I was terrified of that imaginary panel of people. This year, I'm forcing myself to take it step by step until I get to that day when I have to stand in front of all those judgmental orbs and pour my heart out... or stand there staring blankly into space.

And I've been one of those judgmental orbs! I've cast or helped cast shows before and I know that it's nothing personal. Everyone's just looking for the right type... but still it terrifies me.

Wow, that was quite a tangent. I wasn't planning on this post going in that direction, but whatever.

~~~

Anyway, what I meant to write about was how I've been too busy to shop and too busy to blog lately. So since I skipped Monday's WW post, I shall publish it here on this post.

{Week Five}

- 1.4 lbs

Change since week one: - 4.6 lbs

Change since 2006: - 34.6 lbs

I lost this week! I'm so happy that my low carb/low sugar intake is really working. Granted, I did pig out on desserts this past weekend at the party and the next day (hello carb and sugar heaven), so I won't be surprised if this week isn't so successful. This week and next I'm weighing in on Saturdays instead of Sundays because all of the holidays and parties are falling on Saturday and Sunday. It'll just give me a bit of an edge. By the first of the year I'll be back to weighing in on Sundays.

I'm really finding that lowering my carb and sugar intake is really a lot easier than I imagined it would be. If I ever have a hankering or want to cheat, I just remember that on my weigh in days I can indulge and that seems to help me feel less deprived. There are definitely weeks when I want that cupcake or even something as silly as a marshmallow and I go for it, but that's okay. Just as long as I stay in moderation I'll be good.

Even if next week's weigh in isn't so good, I'm not giving up. I'll get right back on the horse, and if it is okay, then all the merrier.

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Two}

+ 0.4 lbs

Change since week one: - 1.8 lbs

Change since 2006: 31.8 lbs

So I gained a little bit this week, but honestly I'm not worried about it. It was Thanksgiving week. Gaining less than a pound during Thanksgiving is a success to me because I have definitely had years when Thanksgiving set me back a few el bees. The best I can do is get back on track and keep losing. I won't let the holidays weigh me down. No sir.

Thank you to everyone who is so supportive of my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. It really means a lot <3

Wish me luck for this week, friends!

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week One}

- 3.8 lbs

Change since 2006: 32.2 lbs

I'm starting over!!

Okay so I know it's not really week one, but I've started all over again in my mind with this, so I think my documented journey needs to start over as well. When I started this whole public WW journey, I lost 10 lbs pretty easily and it was awesome. THEN I went to Europe and ruined it all. If you've been reading my journey you already know that my biggest weakness is travel. I'm a foodie so I love to try all the deliciousness that other states and countries have to offer. Unfortunately, my waistline seriously suffers.

It's been four stupid months since I got back from Europe and I still haven't dropped the weight I gained there, or the other 20 I wanna lose. I know below it says my goal weight is 140, but it really is 130. The reason my goal at WW is 140 is because once you reach your goal and stay there for 6 weeks, you become a Lifetime member and you don't have to pay to be a part of WW EVER AGAIN! I'm so done with paying for my weigh ins.

I got incredibly fed up last week and just decided to do something that seemed, to me, absolutely insane: I cut out unneeded carbs and sugar. I live for carbs like pasta, bread, grains, beans, etc. No more. I mean, obviously I'll let myself have some pasta every once in a while (like once every week or two), but I need to get this weight off of me and get back on track to feeling healthy and confident, so bye bye carbs & sugar! Obviously I'll be enjoying myself on Thanksgiving, but I'm not gonna go crazy and I'm not going to eat more than one meal if we end up going to multiple dinners.

So after a week of no carbs/no sugar I lost 3.8 lbs!!

I have to be honest, I am eating carbs/sugar that come from fruits & vegetables and I'm allowing myself cheese (now THAT I cannot live without again), & some salad dressings. Basically, I've been eating a lot of eggs, fruit/veggies, cheese, chicken/fish/turkey/pork, & nuts. That's about it. I feel totally satisfied and have even lost some of my appetite. I'm not nearly as hungry all the time as I used to be.

I hope I stick with this because even though it sometimes gets hard to not let myself get off track, I am obviously seeing the fruits of my labor. I mean, I honestly don't think I've lost more than 3.5 lbs in one week doing WW, even when I was a lot heavier and it was easier to lose. I'm stoked and pumped and motivated.

Like I said before, I am not gonna go crazy at Thanksgiving, even though I'm baking two pies, sweet potato gratin, and my "famous" jam crumb bars. BUT I won't let myself get pissed off if I have a bit of a gain or stay the same next week when I weigh in. As long as I limit my Thanksgiving feasting to ONLY Thursday, I should be fine. I've lost weight during the holidays before and I know I can do it again.

{To read all about why I began this public WW journey click here}

This is my "are you kidding?!?" face.

Dub Dub Weigh In

This week was really disappointing.

And not because I gained or stayed the same.

Not because I had a bad week.

I actually had a great week and knew for sure I would be down at least 0.5 - 1 lbs.

This week was really disappointing because I couldn't weigh in.

We had planned to go to another church yesterday because our best friend was preaching and we had not seen him preach yet. The service began at 11am, which is late for us, but it was a nice change because we'd get to sleep in. Our usual morning consists of waking up early enough to get ready for our young marrieds group at 9:40, but we always go to the early morning 8am meeting at Weight Watchers by our church, then we kill some time at Starbucks because it's always early.

So I'm in the bathroom doing my hair, almost ready, when Dave waltzes in and says, "I don't think we'll have time to go to Weight Watchers..."

"WHAT?! WHY??" I kind of yell.

"Because Dominic's church is 45 minutes away."

"Why in the world didn't you tell me last night?"

"I told you where it was"

"But you didn't tell me how far it was."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

That's when I stomp around getting my crap together and Dave is profusely apologizing and telling me that we can just swing by really fast so I can weigh in and if we're a few minutes late, oh well. Poor guy, he felt so bad...

So I agree, we rush out the door and on our way there I realize that I didn't actually look at what time the other Sunday meetings were and so I looked it up on my phone. I had assumed that there was a 10am meeting because that's the time I used to go on Saturdays. It was already 10:15 and the Sunday meeting had started at 9:30.

So it was both of our faults. That's what Dave gets for assuming that I know how far away the church was and that's what I get for assuming the meeting times.

Assumption gets you nowhere.

No Dub Dub this week. And it was a really great week. I just know I lost this week.

Oh well, I'll just have to really make sure I'm on top of things this week. Usually when I skip a weigh in, I'm up the next time I go. I DO NOT want that to happen.

Sunday mornings can be so complicated sometimes.

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Twenty Four}

-0.2 lbs

Change since week one: +1 lb

Change since 2006: -29 lbs

So I'm still back where I started at week one of this public journey, but I'm making my way (slowly) back down.

Last week I didn't weigh in because the schedule at the women's retreat kept me from going in Murrieta. I was okay with that because all weekend we were being served tons of food and I had no clue about points. I scaled my portion sizes down, but it really didn't matter. I'm just really happy that I lost something this week, even though it was only 0.2 lbs. It's better than nothing! Every little bit counts!

Wish me luck this week. I'm really tired of still being back where I started 6 months ago. I want to lose these 10 lbs I've been yo-yoing for the last year and then some! I'll just keep using exclamation points to get myself excited and motivated to keep going!!!

This is my "not too shabby" face.

To read more about why I chose to document my weight loss journey (and make my weight public, eek!) click here.

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Twenty Two}

+2.2 lbs

Change since week one: +1.2 lbs

Change since 2006: -28.8 lbs

WW changed their website to automatically update your weight when you weigh in, which I'm not too happy about because I like seeing the pop up that tells you how much you lost or gained and says "You've lost this week!" or "You gained a bit this week". So this means that the tracking on here will change visually :(

Well I finally went back to Weight Watchers after a month long hiatus.

The first week I skipped, if you remember, because I just needed a break from the scale and the pressure and the stress that I was putting on myself to perform and lose. The next week I was at Lawrence Welk. The third week I was exhausted and I had to get ready for Blog Sugar so I skipped because I didn't want to drive all the way out there (Long Beach) only to drive back home to get ready, then drive in the same direction again to attend Blog Sugar.

For being gone for three weigh ins, going out of town twice in those three weeks (and if you've been reading my WW journey you'll know how difficult going out of town is for me when it comes to tracking and staying on program and I always gain a stupid amount of weight no matter how great I think I did), and for not really tracking much at all in those three weeks I'd say I didn't do too bad. I could have gone crazy and gained 5-10 lbs. It has happened before, unfortunately. But I didn't, which is awesome. 

I went to weigh in last Sunday really dreading it, convinced that I had gained at least five pounds and feeling so anxious to just get it over with and try to get back on track so I can lose this weight I keep gaining. I stepped on the scale and the lady gave me a look of pity (I really hate when they do that, or when they seem judgement, which they're not supposed to and they usually don't), and that's when I knew it. I knew I was right. I knew that I had gained a stupid amount of weight and not only do I have to start all over again, I have to take a bunch of steps backwards...

But then she said, "You're up 2.2 lbs" and I nearly cheered. Instead I just said, "Wow, that's better than I thought!"

I don't think I've ever been so okay with gaining 2.2 lbs. EVER. I mean, I was gone for three weeks, didn't track my points, didn't really exercise much, ate out more than usual and I only gained 2 pounds. I realize that in those three weeks I could have lost up to 6 pounds, but I'm not going to stress out about it because that will only keep me where I am right now and won't help me lose the weight.

I'm still really disappointed in myself that it's been over a year and I keep yo-yoing these 10 pounds, but I can't let myself get discouraged or I'll just give up.

I have some pretty big weight loss goals and it's just about time that I get them accomplished. I started a combination of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and Banish Fat Boost Metabolism. I'm not going to go crazy and do it every single day like I did the Shred in August/September, but I'm going to do it at least 4 times a week, I'm getting back on tracking and I'm just ready to finally lose this weight. I realize that the holidays are swiftly approaching and this coming season is my favorite of all in terms of weather, food, holidays, clothes, etc., but I've lost weight during the holidays before and I think I can do it again... or at least maintain, which is always better than gaining. 

I'll be on a women's retreat with my church this weekend, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to weigh in. I'd like to find a WW location where we will be so that no matter what I eat while we're at the retreat (we're not allowed to bring our own food so I have no idea what I'm going to be dealing with... awesome, right? I hate not being in control, food wise... or other wise, haha) I'll still be able to be accountable. We'll see how it works out.

So wish me luck for this week which might be a struggle and for this journey that it can get back on track for good. Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement. It really means a lot to me and helps me feel like I can do it and I'm not alone <3

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Eighteen}

-0.6 lb

Change since week one: - 1 lb

Change since 2006: - 31 lbs

Yes!

After weeks of gaining and failure, it's my second straight week of loss.

After that summer vacation to Europe that caused my 5 pound weight gain, and then that other vacation to the East Coast, combined with my weight training (Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred), which led to another 5 pound weight gain, I am finally back on track to losing the weight that I had lost in the Springtime but quickly gained back over the Summer.

You can see here how over the last 11 weeks or so I had successfully made my way down to 150.8, then immediately went on vacation and those pounds creeped back on. It's annoying to look at, but at least I didn't give up and now I'm on my way to losing it again.

I just want to get these pounds off so I can focus again on losing the next ten pounds...

and then hopefully another ten pounds.

I honestly thought that I would either have a gain or a maintain this week. Not necessarily because I had a bad week, because I didn't, but because the night before my weigh in I went a little over board with the BBQ chips, haha. But I still lost! It must've been a better week than I thought.

So wish me luck this week!

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Seventeen}

Halle-freaking-lujah

I mean really, FINALLY.

What's so funny is that when I walked into the meeting I didn't even care. I had a horrible weekend for various reasons and I think deep down I just forced myself not to care and to expect a gain this week because it would have just sent me over the edge if I cared and gained. 

I definitely expected a gain or to stay the same, just because it really seemed like no matter how hard I tried, my weight did not want to budge.

This week I ate more and exercised a whole lot less. I only did Jillian's SHRED and skipped Zumba all together. I ate ALL of my extra weekly points allowance (I've never done that intentionally) and I even ate some of my earned activity points.

My body must have just thought it was in starvation mode, therefore storing up calories causing me to gain the last few weeks, but not this week... HA!

I want to thank everyone for all of the support that I received, whether it be through comments or emails or face to face. It really meant a lot to me that I was being supported and cheered on by friends. This recent 10 lb weight gain has been frustrating to say the least and it's so disheartening to me that I lost it only a few short months ago just to gain it immediately back. Thanks a ton, travels!

But I need to get over it.

I need to start over.

I need to keep moving forward.

And as always, learn from my mistakes.

Thanks everyone and wish me luck this week!

xoxo

Dub Dub Weigh In

Welp, let's get this one over with, too.

I stepped on the scale, hopeful and anxious. When the lady at the counter read my results, my heart sank.

{Week Sixteen}

+ 0.4 lbs

Change since week one: + 1.8 lbs

Change since 2006: -28.2 lbs

It'd be one thing if I had been expecting it, but I certainly was not.

I worked so hard this week. I earned a minimum of 56 activity points. When I say minimum I mean that when I track my activity points, I skimp. If I did Zumba for an hour I'd key in that I did 45 minutes. I never skimp on my SHREDDING activity points, but those are hard earned so I give myself the credit.

The lady behind the counter saw the 2 ton weight of discouragement break my back and asked me if I did anything different. When I told her how much activity points I earned, she asked if I ate the points I earned. When I told her that I ate all of my extra weekly allowance points, but not my activity points, she said I might not be eating enough. 

Seriously?

I've been through this before, but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that when I stay within my points for the week and exercise, but don't eat the activity points I earn, that I typically fail at the scale.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

How is it that I am quite literally kicking myself in the ass thanks to Jillian, working my butt off, sweating bullets all while tracking that I am GAINING?

I just keep on back tracking and it's driving me insane.

I want to rip my hair out.

Dub Dub Weigh In

Let's just get this post over with. I've been avoiding it all day long but I can't any longer.

For an explanation of sorts of what you shall see when you scroll down, go to the previous post, Square One, here.

It's time to start all over again, get over it and move on.

{Week Fifteen}

+ 5.4 lbs

Change since week one: +1.4 lbs

Change since 2006: -28.6 lbs

square one

Prepare yourselves, I'm not happy.

This isn't an "official" WW post, because those are reserved for Mondays, but I just need to rant.

So remember how I wrote that right before we started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred that I weighed myself at home? Well, according to my scale (which if it's ever off or wrong, it's only off by a pound or so) I was 156.5, which means that I only gained 0.5 on my trip to the east coast. I was stoked because I really worked out A LOT, while we were gone. I used the treadmill, the bike and the elliptical every day except for two travel days. I was surprised that I didn't gain more at first, but the more I thought about it I realized that that seemed about right. I watched what I ate as much as possible. I never cleaned my plate or ate more than half of what I was served (except for one meal), so it made sense to me that I pretty much maintained while traveling.

So when we started Jillian's DVD I thought to myself that it might backfire on me, and here's why:

Every time I start a new workout regiment that includes any kind of weight/strength training, I gain weight.

And I'm not talking about 0.5 - 1 lb, I'm talking about 3, 4, 5 or even 6 lbs. 

BUT

In addition to SHREDDING, I did a ton of Zumba (cardio) this week as well. I'm on day 6 of Jillian's 30 Day Hell and this whole week I did an extra 4-5 hours of Zumba as well as staying well within my points for the week. I didn't even use half of my weekly points allowance. In the recent past I've used almost all of my weekly points allowance and still lost weight, so I thought, "Maybe I'll be okay. Maybe with all of this Zumba and great tracking, I'll have avoided the dreaded weight gain of starting a strength training regiment."

Guess again, Andrea.

No, it wasn't the pie, or the ice cream, or the birthday dinner for Dave. I ate like a bird at Dave's BBQ. I pretty much just ate two pineapple slices, 5 tiny little shrimps, a few steamed broccoli florets and 1/3 cup of mashed potatoes. I ate half my slice of pie and had two bites of ice cream. I was DISCIPLINED this week.

So according to WW this morning I had a 5 lbs weight gain since Monday.

Really? REALLY??

Am I REALLY back to square one of this whole documenting-my-weight-loss-journey-through-my-blog crap?

Yup, I sure am.

Thanks Jillian.

I mean, I do know that you cannot gain 5 lbs just from strength training for 5 days. I know that there has to be something else going on here. Water retention? Sure, why not?

I looked this up on Livestrong.com: 

Overview

You feel great! You cleaned up your diet, renewed your gym membership and knocked out your first couple of killer workouts. Never mind that you're so sore you can hardly climb on the scale. It's worth it just to see the numbers go...up?! Before you throw up your hands in despair and break out a pint of Ben and Jerry's, take a deep breath and relax. It's just a little water retention caused by DOMS.

DOMS

DOMS, or delayed onset muscle soreness, is a common phenomenon marked by muscle pain ranging from mild to debilitating and manifesting 24 to 48 hours after your workout. Besides muscle soreness, other symptoms of DOMS include loss of strength, decreased range of motion, decreased neuromuscular function, mild inflammation and an increase of two to three pounds or more in body weight. DOMS is common in individuals who are new to resistance training or as a response to a change in exercise routines, such as adding challenging, new exercises or increasing weight loads.

Yeah, it also goes on to say that it only lasts a few days, and this is day 5 and I'm not nearly as sore as I was a couple of days ago, but still 5 lbs in 5 days? I don't think so.

There's another possible contributing factor I've yet to mention, simply because of it's personal nature:

According to all of the forums I've read in the last hour or so, women tend to gain anywhere from 2-10 lbs before and/or during their cycle. I knew a few lbs was normal for me, but 10? I don't envy those girls.

Also, if I gained 5 lbs, why are my clothes looser?

But you know what? I'm gonna stick to it. I'm gonna keep SHREDDING. With my luck I'll stay the same until this 30 Days is over and then lose 10 lbs so fast. That's usually how it goes for me. I work out with a trainer, strength/weight train, gain weight, keep doing it, keep staying the same or gaining and then as soon as I stop the training I lose weight so fast I almost don't even realize it (well, I totally notice, but you know what I mean).

I am so not looking forward to tomorrow's Dub Dub post.

Whatever, I'm gonna do it because I made a commitment to documenting my journey. 

Thanks for reading my ranting. I'm just hormonal and irritable.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Dub Dub Weigh In

{Week Twelve}

- 0.2 lbs

Change since week one: - 4 lbs

Change since 2006: - 34 lbs

So here's the deal with my weigh in this week... it's kinda funny. So I was in a hurry because I had to be at church earlier than normal, so I couldn't stay for the meeting, but I was running late so I had to get in and get out. I was 20 minutes late to the weigh in/meeting so I went right in and stepped on the scale. The lady behind the counter said, "Okay you're up point four this week." and I let out a super exasperated sigh of annoyance because though I had a lot of eating out events to go to this week, I knew I didn't go over my extra weekly points allowance and thought that my body is doing that thing where it just refuses to lose weight. So I left WW and got in the car. I realized that I had a little bit of time and that I also had to pee so I went back in and asked if I could use the restroom and weigh in again (I've never done that before!). The lady at the counter said that I definitely could, although she couldn't change the weight she already entered in the system. Honestly I don't care about that, just as long as I know what my true weight is.

So I came back from the bathroom and stepped on the scale. That little bit of water I hadn't released weighed 0.6 lbs!! That's a lot. So in reality I lost 0.2 lbs this week. I know it's not much, but I would much rather have a small loss than a gain so I'm trying to be proud of the small victories.

This past week I went to my mom's fancy and delicious birthday dinner, went to a cooking class where we had a tasty meal, and went to a beach bonfire and had three s'mores, so losing anything at all is a bit of a victory.

I also noticed this on my online WW profile and thought I'd share it. 

Those are all milestones that I have reached on the program that I need to be proud of and need to use as an encouragement and a reminder that I've come a long way. Plus, this isn't even from the 70 lbs I lost in high school, this is from when I started WW in college! I've worked hard to lose weight on several occasions and though I sometimes fail, I've succeeded so much and I need to give myself more credit. I'm always really hard on myself about EVERYTHING, but especially, especially, especially about my weight. I need to pat myself on the back a little more because it gets really exhausting to constantly be looking at what I'm not accomplishing rather than what I already have and what I know I will.

So I may not be super stoked about this week's results, but I'm not upset. I'm content, which is all I really need to be.

I won't be able to go to WW next week (and possibly not the next week) because I will be out of town and I will be faced with a lot of food challenges while I'm there. My biggest fear is that I will make the same mistakes I made while on my recent trip a couple of weeks ago, gain another 5 lbs back and get back up to 160 by the time I'm home. I'm definitely not going to be expecting that and I will be trying my best to make wise decisions while I'm gone, but for me, food while traveling is a huge battle. It really is my most intense, make-it-or-break-it weight loss battle. It stresses me out, which then feeds into the vicious cycle of eating because I'm stressed/depressed and stressed/depressed because I'm eating. UGH, I have problems. Wish me luck, you guys. I'm gonna need it.

Dub Dub Weigh In

Okay, before I even begin to announce my WW results for this week, I have some explaining to do...

I did go to WW to weigh in the day before I left for my vacation and I learned that I lost 2.2 lbs, which brought me down to 150.8 for week eight. Which was AWESOME. I was so happy and proud of myself for losing nearly ten pounds in two months. I honestly didn't think I would be at that point and I was stoked.

Then I went on my vacation...

I knew that I would gain on my vacation. I just know myself enough to know that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to stay on track, I am just not one of those people who can either maintain or lose on vacation. I just can't be that person no matter how much I wish I could. And if it ever does happen, it's a total fluke.

Anyway, like I said, I knew I would gain a little weight on my vacation, but I wasn't expecting this much:

{Week Eleven}

+ 5.4 lbs

Change since week one: -3.8 lbs

Change since 2006: -33.8 lbs

Am I disappointed? That's an understatement.

The only thing I can commend myself on is that I actually weighed in and faced the music. I was dreading stepping up on that scale because I had no idea where I'd be and even though I'm upset about the outcome, I am SO glad I got it over with and went... but I really wasn't expecting a gain of 5.4 lbs. I was expecting about a 2 - 3 lb gain. When I approached the desk and told the receptionist that I just got back from vacation and was expecting a gain, she said no matter what the gain is, I'll lose it eventually and that it had to at least be somewhat worth it because I was on vacation. When she saw how much I actually gained she told me not to be discouraged and that she knew I would lose it again.

I was TOTALLY discouraged. I was fighting tears as I sat in the meeting... and I was pissed. So totally pissed at myself for not being more careful on my vacation.

The problem is this: when I am at home, I have a routine, I can plan out my meals, I am in total control, but when I'm away from home, I have a lot less choices, I don't have the less fat, less carbs options and the only thing I can control is my portions... which just so happens to be the area I have the least control in. Portion control is my enemy. The first half of the vacation, I was a whole lot more careful about my portions. I only ate 1/2 or 2/3 of my meals and I drank a lot of water. By the second half of the trip I just didn't care as much and the food just got tastier and harder to resist. My willpower was failing me and I gave in to more than I should have, but I was trying to make wiser choices with what I was actually eating.

Apparently it didn't matter.

I was still pretty upset the whole day, but I finally resolved that I can't really change where I am now except to just get back on track and to not give up, which I'm sticking to. I've lost 5 lbs countless times, I'll do it again.

There is one problem, though. I will be going out of town AGAIN on the 27th and won't be back until either the 4th or the 7th of August. Dave has business in New York and I'll be joining him. The good thing about being in NY is that I've been there before several times and have actually lost weight while there and I know I could do it again. I'll be able to eat my own breakfast because the hotel rooms have small kitchens and I can load up on fruits and veggies from the deli across the street. If anything I just hope I stay the same while in NY, but I'll worry about that when I get there.

For now I just have to focus on staying on track, not giving up and just remember how I faltered on my last vacation and hopefully that will give me the motivation to keep going and to keep losing.

Wish me luck, you guys. I need it :(