true love will find you in the end.

wow. it has been an insanely busy couple of weeks months.

yesterday was a little too nuts for me to do a tunes tuesday post, so i'll share my mix today. i hope you enjoy it!

true love will find you in the end from hecallsmewifey on 8tracks.

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rehearsal for the play i am currently working on, Enlightenment.com, is in full swing and i am truly looking forward to the end result. it's quite a hilarious show and we've got some amazing actors. i love working on a small ensemble cast where we each carry the weight of the story and each character has their essential story to tell. i'm really hoping that a lot of my friends can make it to this play. this particular show means a lot to me and being able to share all of the hard work and long hours that will go (and has gone into it already) will truly mean the world to me. getting support from others in the pursuit of my passion, something so personal and dear to me, is huge, and i really hope we get a great turnout. this show deserves it.

having said that, please come! i know it's a little pricey for a ticket, but when you think about all of the hours and energy and blood, sweat and tears (literally) that we put forth into it (for very little pay or no pay at all), i think that's worth it. we need support to keep doing what we do. you can purchase tickets here AND get a discounted price if you go in a group! 

i'd really love to see you there.

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this past weekend i attended stella & dot's annual convention, Hoopla, in San Francisco. it was pretty amazing, very encouraging, and totally motivating. i met some really cool people, made connections and learned a lot. i'm very happy that i decided to go. we also saw the new Fall Collection in person and i am telling you, it is INCREDIBLE. every piece is gorgeous and made with such intricate detail. stella & dot produces such high quality, on trend pieces at what i think are amazing price points for the quality you get. this company just continues to amaze me. i really love my job. it seriously doesn't even feel like a job.

check out this cute video of the fall collection

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get with the program

i spent last night going over my checklist for what i need in order to send in my application to USC in time for the priority deadline (which is this coming Saturday) and i almost had a heart attack.

it's my own fault for just now realizing the deadline date was not what i had thought it was. for some reason this whole time i've been enjoying the holidays i had it in my head that the priority deadline wasn't until next week, even though i had it all written down (maybe because all the other grad programs i'm applying to have much later deadlines). so when i sat down yesterday to begin compiling a checklist/timeline and to revise/ re-write my statement of purpose essay, i realized that i let myself get even later in the game and possibly made my chances of getting into USC even slimmer. therefore, i spent the whole night rushing around getting crap organized (i.e. rush transcripts, statement of purpose essay, letters of recommendation, headshot, resume, etc.)

i have to realize that i just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. i'm going to do whatever i can to get it all sent by Thursday, even Friday at the latest, but it's not looking good. i'm even considering hand delivering it if i have everything i need by Friday... which is doubtful. it's not as though i can't still apply, it just won't be before the priority deadline, and that really bums me out.

*bang head against wall repeatedly because it's all my fault*

i'm the queen of procrastination. i just am. it's frustrating and stressful and i hate it, yet i can't seem to conquer it. why is that??

fear?

for some, fear is fuel. for me, it's paralysis... and apparently procrastination.

i keep reminding myself that there's only a slight chance that i will get accepted into an MFA in Acting (Master of Fine Arts) program so that my hopes aren't raised so high that when i'm not attending school this Fall i'll be exceedingly disappointed.

but then that leads to serious self-doubt:
i'm not good enough
i'll botch my audition
i'll write the wrong thing in my statement of purpose essay
i might not have the look they're going for this season
i'm getting older and this only comes once every year (or two)
my chances are really slim
the odds are against me
i feel ready, but am i?

it's a cycle. a vicious, heinous cycle, i tell you!

repeat after me, andrea: "don't be afraid to fail... don't be afraid to fail... don't be afraid to fail..."
thankfully USC isn't the only program i'm planning to apply to/audition for.

see?
silver lining.

...right?

whatever the outcome, acceptance into an MFA program or not, i know that there's a plan. He won't leave me hanging...
as long as i don't leave me hanging.

bring on the cheese...

{photo by Noel Hadley, cartoonified by me}